Saturday, May 2, 2009

Eight Months...

Storm
Lifehouse

How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
Water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head


If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If I'd see you
This darkness would turn to light


And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everything is alright


I know you didn't bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface


If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If i'd see you
This darkness would turn to light


And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be alright


And I will walk on water
You will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everthing is alright


Everything is alright
Everything is alright

Eight months in this storm of life. It's almost the longest wait I have ever experienced. I didn't wait this long while I was engaged to get married. And once I got to month eight, I was ready to get all of my kids out! :-)


The line that struck me the most was: I know you didn't bring me out here to drown. I truly believe that God didn't bring us here to drown us. But, it's something I have to keep reminding myself of because sometimes, it has felt like just that. It has often felt like we are trying to tread water and the waves keep getting higher and higher. It's exhausting when you have been treading for eight months...but it certainly builds strength.


It's those moments when He allows us to get a glimpse of himself through people he has sent our way to bless us or work that falls into our laps that we know everything is alright. It's when we see Him that our darkness turns to light.


I never thought this would last eight months.

I never thought we would be okay after eight months.

I never thought eight months would feel so normal.


He has been my comfort, my strength, my hope, my joy, my peace. He has been my everything through this time. The one I run to, the one I cling to. The one I cry to, the one I beg for mercy from. Just when I think I can't possibly go any farther, He picks me up and carries me. He sends some of Himself my way in human form to encourage me that I can go farther, even if it's on my hands and knees.

And, that very well may be where he wants me...

...and I am not, nor have I ever been a quitter.

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