Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Twenty-one Months

Today marks twenty-one months since my husband lost his job. I have tried to stay off of the subject...tried not to mention it. But, I don't want to pretend it away.

Time is ticking away and I am feeling the crunch more than ever. Unemployment has taken me to a new low, when I thought I couldn't get any lower. This is my new beginning, right? This was the year for us. The year is halfway over and the pressure is mounting instead of being relieved.

I sit inside my house at night after everyone has gone to sleep and I pray that time doesn't run out for us.

I walk the halls at work and pray with each step that God would provide a job for my husband so I can tuck my babies in to their beds at night.

On the drive home, I allow myself a little time to cry and with tears running down my cheeks I pray we would be able to keep our home.

As I watch my kids run and play outside, I pray that they would remain mostly oblivious to this trial in our lives and they would only remember the good.

Twenty-one months of praying that there wouldn't be another...and I pray even harder that we don't reach twenty-two.

It's getting harder and harder to be optimistic...or hopeful for that matter.

I'm sorry, it seems like you have caught me on a dark day...forgive me, I will be better in a few days.

2 things to add:

Anonymous said...

Hi Beth. I stumbled upon your blog and I really felt what you wrote. It reminded me of feelings I had a few months ago until I listened to an article of the Awake which is published by Jehovah's witness organization. It is the July issue "Unemployed? How you can live on less." It was exactly what I needed to hear and of course it is always welcomed when you know the source comes from the Bible which is inspired by our heavenly father.I pray that the magazine finds its way into your hands and that you are able to read the article and find relief and ease by Gods word , even if you are not Jehovah witness.

Beth said...

Thank you, I really appreciate you taking the time to leave a comment. I am human and have my moments, but I really don't know how my husband and I would still be standing without our faith in Christ, our church family, and the people God has placed around us. It's funny how God brings something like a verse, song, or even words of a person to meet us right where we are at in the valley we are walking through. Leaves me thankful and in awe.