Thursday, September 22, 2011

What's Best for My Family...

In a little over a week I will be starting my new hours at work.  It was a decision that was bathed in much thought and prayer.  I have always held the position that I am my husbands helpmate and the burden to provide for our family should not be his alone.

The big debate between stay-at-home mothers and working mothers, I am afraid, will be something that is always there.  It has been quite evident to me lately...not only in talk among women but also in articles that have been shared via facebook.

The other day, I clicked on one of the links to read and was saddened at what I read.  Not only was this person using scripture about laying down ones life to describe her role as a stay at home mom but was criticizing mom's who either by choice or by need work outside the home...and other Christian mom's were applauding her article.

Let me start by saying that I was strictly stay-at-home mom for five years and loved the privilege to do so.  Then, when my husband lost his job in the summer of 2008, I felt it was my duty to pick up the slack and do all I could to help keep us a float.  I said for better or worse, for richer or poorer and I meant it.  I started out by working at Walmart (a job I hated with a passion) and then six months later, God answered my prayers and allowed me to score the job that I still have now.  The decision for me to work outside the home was not an easy one...not something that I was ready (or really even willing at first) to do.  But, it was something that I felt God was leading me to...and how everything was orchestrated proves that God has had His hand in it all.

About six weeks after Dan was taken off the unemployed list and went back to work, I was able to go PRN at my current job and once again enjoy being at home the majority of the time with my kids.  It has been a wonderful year (and a few months) home with my kids, but once again, God orchestrated this position opening up for me and it was truly an answer to prayer...He provides once again.

I type all this to say how disappointed I am when mom's use this subject to bash each other.  When instead of supporting how hard it is to stay at home 24/7 with your kids or balance life at home with being a working mother, women chose to tear each other down...and using verses from the Bible to make whatever path one is walking seem more noble that another woman's calling.  What about examining yourself using an example from the Bible:

Proverbs 31: 10-31
10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Whatever path God has chosen for you, my prayer is that your children rise up and call you blessed and your husband praises you....that the pressures you feel from the Christian women around you (whether they be working or stay-at-home) would fall away...because as long as you are doing what's right by your own family and by your God, who are we to judge.

1 things to add:

Peaceful Chaoz said...

I have been having some of the same feelings about this subject lately. I love how you wrote about God orchestrating it all, He has done that in our life as well. He orchestrated a part of our life to be that i stay at home, part of it that i could work from home and now working away from home! Its amazing how He provides just what we need in the right timing! And its all different. Thank you, this was much more uplifting than some other things I've read lately. And thats what I've always thought we should be as moms, lifting each other up as much as we can, encouraging not discouraging. ;0)