Silence

I finished Lost Women of the Bible, which I really enjoyed. On to the next one. But, I did want to post one paragraph that really stood out to me. I hope it is an encouragement to you too.

God's silence is not an accurate way to measure what he is doing. It's easy to forget he often does his best work when, so far as we can tell, he doesn't seem to be doing anything at all. But, looking back on those long agonizing stretches of God's silence, most of us will say those were the times in our relationship with God when he was doing the most.

We're going on seven months here. God hasn't been silent this whole time, but there have been periods throughout when there was no sign from above, no answered prayer, no hand extended to us. Those times have felt incredibly lonely, but they have also been times when I can do nothing else but throw myself at His feet. They cause me to hunger after Him more, to seek Him most.

I hear another book calling my name. Another by Carolyn James....

Move it Monday...

Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresea, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.

~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr

The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon, but only to hold a man's foot long enough to enable him to put the other somewhat higher.

~Thomas Henry Huxley

A Song for Saturday...

I just heard this for the first time yesterday on my brother's blog and I had to post it also. What a great song.

Let's Go Fly a Kite

Scents

I am so thankful for the senses God has given us that allow us to enjoy the world he has created on so many different levels.

Self proclaimed Yankee Candle freak here. It's going on about ten years. I've burned Yankee Candles since highschool. Usually around this time of year, I would pick my favorite scents for the spring/summer. I love burning candles and have my favorite scents for each season. I recently got their Spring catalog complete with scratch and sniff (the best idea in the world!) and have enjoyed just "window shopping". My favorite pick for the warmer weather this year :

It's not a new scent. There's a few others that I have enjoyed taking in also...Pomegranate Fruit and Garden Sweet Pea. Today I am tucking away my Home for the Holidays and Autumn Wreath and replacing them with what's left of my Sun and Sand. Spring is in the air.

Already?

I often have moments that make me think about moments that I have tried to freeze in my head. I had one of those moments recently.

I have memory boxes for each of my kids. When one gets filled, we move on to filling another. I pulled them down the other day and Kaitlyn and Landon wanted to go through them. Talk about taken back.

Too many times in my life, I can't wait to get to the next thing. When I was little, I couldn't wait to be older, to be able to drive. When I was in Jr. High, I couldn't wait to become a highschooler. In highschool, I couldn't wait to get out of there. I couldn't wait to get married. I couldn't wait to be done with college and be working a job. While working a job, I couldn't wait until would be able to stay home and take care of kids. Time flies by a lot faster looking back on things. :)

While pregnant with my little princess, my first born, I couldn't wait to have her out to hold and love on. That was actually in a lot of the letters that I had written to her while pregnant with her. Once she was out, I couldn't wait until she would be able to sit up, to stand, to walk, to play on her own. She had colic and I truly believe she was too brilliant and bored very often...we had a rough first few months.

I blinked...

She will be five in May. I take her next week to register her for kindergarten and I think I am going to have tears in my eyes when I go for that. I know, I know, I am in big trouble if I am already getting teary eyed. I just can't believe how fast the time has flown and through a good portion, I have wished it away. Sometimes I sit and watch her play and think to myself, "Freeze this. Freeze this in your mind, remember this, you will never get this moment back." I want to freeze her. I want to freeze her at the little 38 pound 4 year old that she is. I know this is just the beginning...the beginning of our journey of little by little letting her go.

Dear Lord, what blessings you have given to me. What gifts you have given me in my children! I pray that you would help me to no longer wish these moments away. Help me to soak this all in and to remember that each new day with them is from above. Thank you so much for the little girl you have entrusted us with. She is such a joy! I pray that you would help me to continue to mother Kaitlyn's precious heart. Guide and protect her. I pray that she would forever follow you. Do great things through her.

Six Years Together

Man, we look so young!







This picture was taken just after music started playing that I didn't pick out. Dan had written a song just for me!

I loved coming down the big staircase with my Dad. I was so excited to see Dan!

Us feeding eachother cake...we were nice...I told him that if he wasn't I would kill him. :-)

Six years ago today, I married my best friend. It feels like such an accomplishment to know we fought for this one...we fought this year for a closer, better marriage and won. We can't say another year has just, poof, gone by. This was, by far, the best year of marriage for us. I can't imagine where I would be without him and feel blessed to be living life beside him. I had the most beautiful wedding and it truly felt like a fairy tale, but the wedding is over and I still feel like a princess six years later.

Happy Anniversary, Dan. You are an amazing man!

This is my beloved, this is my friend. ~Song of Songs 5:17

I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine ~ Song of Songs 6:3

Six years, baby!

Flashback Friday

This Sunday is our sixth wedding anniversary!

This picture was taken on our 4th. I was almost 20 weeks pregnant and was about to find out if baby number three was going to be a Collin or an Ashlyn. March 22, 2007, we found out that we had a healthy, growing little boy inside my little baby bump. This year, no baby bump :-)...just a night away by ourselves thanks to Gammy and Poppy. We are off!

George lives again...

My three year old son has had an imaginary friend for a little while now. His name is George (of all names) and he is quite the trouble maker. He does things that I tell Landon not to do. Of course, Landon blames everything on him...he's kinda got a drop dead Fred thing going on. He eats dinner with us, rides in the car with us, and pretty much goes where ever Landon goes. He will, on occasion, ride his "mogorcycle" up ahead of us when we have no room in our car to sit.

Well, about two weeks ago, we got some sad news. Landon informed us that George had been in a fire and his house had burned down. Fortunately, George was able to move into a "mogorhome" and that's where he has been living. He comes and stays with us whenever he can though. Tragedy struck again and George was burned in another fire shortly after. He was dead but then a "lifesaver" came a "maked him alive again". Even though he is a pain sometimes, we are happy that George pulled through.

Are there any other "imaginary friends" out there?

Tis the season...already!

Today's the day. I honestly think it feels like it should be this time already.

Last year, I felt as if I was starting from scratch. During the off season this year, I didn't let myself slip, kept a bit of mileage, and I feel like I maintained my distance fairly well. It's two months until my first race of the season and my goal is to start it with a bang. I am really looking forward to the fact that it's only a 5K...piece of cake. I already know that I can knock out that distance so for the next two months I can work on speed. Depending on the course, I hope to finish this race between 25 an 27 minutes tops.

Back to my training diet. I think the headache I have is from lack of sugar...oh, I miss my sugar. I split up my mileage today. I did a fast four miles this morning. It felt really good. Especially since the weather was warm enough for shorts. I love to run in shorts. Tonight, I finished off my first day of training with a three miler on Harvard Hills Rd...killer. The last 1.5 miles was up hill in to the wind. Perfect road to train on. Perfect road to work on my speed.

This is going to be a fun season!

Stand to Praise

...one of my favorite songs to run to.

...also, pretty much how I feel right now.

The 5K Run for Hungry Children

Well, I didn't last as long as I planned, but it was for a good cause.

I was asked on Sunday to head up our church's team for The 5K Run for Hungry Children on May 16th. I am so excited to be doing this! I have been saying for a long time now that everyone should be a runner (or at least give it a try...you will be hooked if you're in to mixing pain with pleasure). It's because of events like this that make it seem even that more worth while. Let the brainstorming begin! I am trying to think up ways to make this fun for our team and make it a successful fundraising event. I have a couple I am throwing around.

So, please pray about and consider sponsoring our team and donating to help feed hungry kids. I am working on a page for our team but until then here is a link and then a little bit from the site:

In developing countries, 6 million children die each year, mostly from hunger-related causes. Each of these children has a name, a face and a longing for a better future.

The Run For Hungry Children is all about bringing hope to these kids. Bright Hope works with 22 projects that directly serve children in need. The majority of these children are orphaned or abandoned, hungry and desperate, lonely and confused. Our partners work to see that these children are given food, clothing, schooling and hope.

It is all too common for children around the globe, particularly in Africa, Asia and Latin America, to go days on end with desperately hungry stomachs. Bright Hope has committed to these children by providing relief through various Orphans and Vulnerable Children programs around the world.

Fasting...

...from the internet for a few days. I have been convicted and need some time "away".
I'll be back.

Where does she come up with this stuff?

I have always said that my daughter seems like an old soul. We were watching old home videos about a month back. She was not even two in one of them. On the video, I asked her, "Tatoe (that was her nickname back then), how old are you?" She looked at the camera and said, "Tatoe is 22 months." I remember thinking since she was very young that she is absolutely brilliant. I love to record the things my kids say in a notebook I have. Today I just have to share:

This morning when she got up, we were getting around to go to Cubbies. I asked her if she remembered her verse. She began, "Samantha! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord." It took a second to realize that she had no clue and mistook Samantha for Hosanna. Then before I could correct her, she looked at me with a puzzled look and asked, "Is she someone who came before us?" I almost died laughing.

On the way home from the park today, I asked the kids if they had a fun day. They told me that they did and I told them that I was happy and was hoping to give them that. Kaitlyn spoke up and said, "Yeah, it was much better than Uncle Huey's wedding because that was a tad bit on the boring side!"

This afternoon, she was in the bathroom with the dog. I was spying on her. She grabbed the dogs face and said, "Macy you are so beautiful. I hope you die soon though so we can get a different dog."

She has most recently informed us that her name is no longer Kaitlyn. Her name is now Kate and for short we can call her Princess.

Oh baby girl, you keep Mommy smiling. You are growing up so fast and I can't believe in just two short months you will be a whole hand.

The Gospel of Ruth: Finished

This past Friday, I finished The Gospel of Ruth. It was a good read! So good, that when my Father-in-law offered me another one of Carolyn Curtis James' books (Lost Women of the Bible), I took it with excitement. So, this from The Gospel of Ruth will finish it up:

...Naomi's participation in kingdom building is seriously impaired if she doesn't know God for herself.

She has to experience him, not just learn about him. That means walking with him through storms, adversities, disappointments, and losses. For Naomi, it involved spending time at ground zero - getting angry, feeling betrayed, abandoned, and forgotten. She had to ask the hard questions, cope with unanswered prayers, and endure countless sleepless nights filled with doubts, fears, anxieties. She had to fin God's hesed in the middle of the mess. The dark night of the soul is an awful place to be, but that's where God trains his best warriors. (The Gospel of Ruth, p. 205)

I am already on page 40 of Lost Women of the Bible and I am already anticipating reading When Life and Beliefs Collide. Anyone else out there read anything by Carolyn Curtis James?

Hit

Therefore the LORD longs to be gracious to you, And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who long for Him. ~Isaiah 30:18

I don't think I can remember a time, recently, that I have been so hit by a verse as I was today. I felt as if God was speaking directly to me. He is longing to be gracious to me....longing...

Half of a Year

It's that time again. Here I am, nothing but honest. It's been six whole months since my husband lost his job. Conflicted is the only word I could come up with to sum up this past month.

I am conflicted because I feel like God is so near in my life right now, but at the very same time I feel as if he has forgotten about us. If that makes any sense at all.

He has shown many ways this month that He is with us every step of the way. Remember last month when I said I was worried about being over budget and a deficit of $100 on top of that? Well, not only did God provide that $100, He blew it out of the water. I am so thankful for the people that allowed God to use them to provide for us. It confirms in my mind over and over that we are well taken care of and loved with the hesed that only comes from Him. It was such an encouragement.

On the flip side, six months is a long time. A long time of disappointments, doors being closed, and just feeling like we are headed no where fast. It's not about the money, or lack of. I just want my husband back. The further we walk together through this trial, the more I feel like I am losing him...the man he was. I hate seeing him discouraged and hurt. He's been so strong for me and now I see him unraveling before my eyes.

I once read a story of a grandmother who began her prayer with her full name and address just so God would know "which one" she was. Some days, I feel so desperate I just want to cry out, "Dear Lord, this is Beth ______, you know, if you look right over here at this latitude and this longitude we are the ones on this street. We have a deck on the back and if you would like I will stand out in my yard and wave my hands so you will know it's me." I know, it's silly. How much longer? What can I get that I have been to blind to see? What am I doing that I need to change? Take what's left of me, Lord.

Just being honest. This time of the month is always hard. If you have been reading, you know that already.

Lord, help!