Wordless Wednesday (we're ready!)

Ninth Month Update: Stuck

I won't be here for the 2nd of June. Were will I be, you ask? MICHIGAN! Mom and Dad are footing the bill and we are outta here. The kids and I will be spending almost a week there and my sister and her kids and my sister-in-law will be meeting us out there. It's just what I need right now...a break from everything. So looking forward to it!!!

Yes, that time of the month is coming up once again. Another month gone by. Nine total months of unemployment. Nine total months of our name still being on the prayer list under those who are unemployed at church...while others come and go, we seem to be stuck there.

I have been nothing but open and honest throughout this whole thing and will continue to be. I. Am. Frustrated. (and I will leave it at that).

At the end of May, we will lose our health insurance. Something I thought would never happen...surely we would never make it to month nine. Here we are. We were able to get the kids put on the state health insurance but Dan and I are without. Makes me kinda nervous.

Continue to pray for us. It's been rough around here. Dan has his resume out there for a couple of carpenter jobs...we are hoping something pops up SOON (if anyone in the area hears of anyone hiring carpenters, please let us know). It would be nice if things were picking up like they say. He is also testing for a department the third Saturday in June and I am very hopeful.

Still. Waiting.

Birthday Outing : Princess Style (because that's how she rolls)...

Grandma and Grandpa took Kaitlyn out for her birthday yesterday. She was so excited. She had to look her best. She picked out her dress. A princess can never leave the house without her crown. Packed her purse complete with a fairy wand. And topped it all off with her favorite boa. She was ready! What she did in her ensemble was far from "princess like"...she was a tad bit over dressed. :-) She had a blast and told us all about it when she came home. She was pretty excited that they prayed that God would keep it from raining, "and He answered our prayers!"

Last night, before going to bed, she said that this was the best birthday she has ever had. It made my heart smile.

My Princess is Five!!

Kaitlyn Hope

May 25th, 2004

It's difficult for me to put in to words all this day means to me. She's my first born. She's everything girly...well, except for her love for bugs, worms, and occasionally getting her hands dirty. She's stubborn, smart, thoughtful, bossy, the leader of the show. She loves to dance, sing, draw, craft, and has an incredible imagination. I really have a hard time believing that it was 5 years ago that I gave birth to my precious princess. Five years. She was our "pure hope" thus the name Kaitlyn (meaning pure) Hope. Five years ago, my big eyed little girl came in to this world. In the five years that God has given her, she has blessed our lives so very much. I can't imagine life without her.

Happy Birthday, princess Kate. I am so thankful that God blessed me with a little girl. Keep dancing girly! May you learn to love Jesus even more this year.

Because a girl only turns 5 once...

Kaitlyn was absolutely crushed when I told her we wouldn't be able to have a party for her this year. The look on her face just broke my heart. So, I gave in and tried to do it as inexpensive as possible. Because, afterall, a a girl only turns five once. It was her very first all girl party. She chose the guest list. We did the invites through evite. Had the party after lunch and only served cake. The party favors were $1 nail care sets. We did nails, made bracelets, had cake, and then the girls were off to dance and do "makeovers" on their own...I think I was cramping their style. Total cost: 41.76. The look on Kaitlyn's face and hearing her talk about her party after it was over: Priceless.

I Scream (Wordless Wednesday)

Hat Head

I look good in a hat. When I just had one or two and wore them on occasion, it was nice. Lately, I have all these hats that are piling up and I am trying to keep straight. I feel their weight more and more. I am always wearing one. I have hat head. For once I would like to just go "hat-less" for a day, let my hair down and not have to worry.

I got this hat a little over six years ago...actually it was a tiara. It's my bride tiara. It's a lot of work to keep it sparkling...somedays to just keep it on straight. I really never knew that it would be this much work to wear a tiara. I'm holdin on to this one forever though.

It was bound to happen after putting on my tiara...I was blessed with the "I am a Mommy" cap. It's never clean and I am constantly inspecting it for holes, always adding something to it, always thinking of ways to help it better fulfil it's purpose. It's exhausting but it's hands down one of my favorites.

Somedays I have something on my head that looks more like a cleaning pail than a hat. It's not pretty. I feel like a maid. But, yet, somehow, with everything in such disarray in life, it's nice to be able to keep some order.

Life happens and I was thrown a "work hat". It's hard to remember to pry my "I am Mommy" cap off and put on my work hat...to get into that mode. I like this hat but I just keep thinking back to the days where I had one less hat to wear. My tiara makes me feel gorgeous and my Mommy hat is oh so comfy. My work hat was hard to get used to...a lot heavier than the others.

Another hat in my collection is my "gotta run" hat. I put this hat on and all the others fall to the side for a moment. When I am running it's my time to escape, to reflect, to blow off some steam. It's my "mini-vacation" hat if you will.

I have others: my family hat, friends hat, fun hat, party hat, the hat I cheer in, my chef hat...I have a closet full.

I have been trying to wear several of these at the same time...it's uncomfortable and most look better on their own.

Late at night, I am able to give my head a break. I come before my God. He accepts me, hat hair and all. I don't need a hat with Him. I lay all my hats at His feet and ask Him to bless them all, to cherish every one, to be content with every one that I have been given to wear at this time in my life.

He tells me that some day soon, the hats will start coming off. To my surprise He says that I will actually miss some of them (seriously, who wants to be a bucket head?). He's given me all of these hats for a reason. I am finding that some shading for a season suits me. Although I long for the day when my hair is blowing freely in the breeze and the sun is beating down on the top of my head, my Father tells me such a time is approaching and I need to be thankful for the coolness and having my hair out of my eyes for a little bit longer.

All I really need are a handful of hats.

Please excuse my hat head.

5K Run for Hungry Children

I was up at 5:15AM thinking about the race ahead. As I sat there eating my blueberry bagel and drinking a bit of caffeine, I thought of and prayed for the kids I was racing for who don't have the privilege of eating breakfast any morning they feel like it.



There was a great turn out and a bunch of money raised today! The rain stopped for the race (although it was very cold and extremely windy). To top it all off, I came in 3rd in my female age division (Dan took third for his too!)! Not too many regrets or "I should have dones" on this one.





Looking forward to my 10K in a little less than a month. Slowly but surely, I am building up quite a collection of shirts for the quilt I am going to have made.



I am contemplating a Marathon, or at least a half, for my 30th birthday...I have time. :-)

She's Growing Up (wordless Wednesday)

They call me Mommy

I don't know how my Mom made this all look and seem so easy. I only know now what incredible sacrifice it took and how much she gave of herself.

I don't know how my mother-in-law raised such an understanding, patient man but only that he thinks the world of her because of all she gave to him...and by doing so, she provided me with a wonderful man.

There is no handbook. Kids aren't born with a manual tucked under their armpit. I think they have actually taught me more than I have taught them. I am eternally grateful for the gifts that God has entrusted me with...the little bit of Heaven that he has sent down.

Motherhood is the hardest work a woman will ever do, but the rewards with last the rest of your life if it's done right.

Kaitlyn, Landon, and Collin ~ My precious babies. I am honored to be your Mommy. To be the one you run to when you don't feel good, when you need a boo-boo kissed, or just need some lovin after a rough day. You have reminded me how fun it is to sing in a store, run through puddles, and roll down a grassy hill. I dreamed of you, hoped for you, prayed for you...I wanted you with everything in me. You three are growing up right before my eyes and I wish that I could freeze you for a while longer. I hope and pray that you would love God with all of your hearts and follow Him until you breathe your last breaths. You have blessed my life and I am better because I have all three of you in my life. I love you all so much.

Never ever

Out of the mouth of my four year old tonight:

Mommy, a family is something that won't ever leave you behind.

I don't know where it came from. I don't know what brought it about in her little head, but I thought she put it very nicely. It's the way it should be. I hope and pray that Dan and I create a home where our children feel that we "won't ever leave them behind".

Planning

I am looking forward to beginning my second racing season, with my first race just around the corner:

May 16th - 5K Run for Hungry Children (I am raising money to feed hungry kids around the world...time is running out, please help!) - I have never done a 5K before. I have done nothing less than a 10K. Should be fun. We were informed what course we will be racing. It's familiar and I am sure that will help out!

June 6th - Milk Days 10K - This will be my second year doing this one. The course is challenging, but I hope to speed it up this year.

July is still open. I am in the process of looking for something local.

August 22nd - The CRIM...all 10 miles of it!! I am more than excited to run this one again. It kicked my butt last year and you know that didn't go over well with me. I am looking forward to my rematch and running this year with my best friend on one side and my best sister on the other. I get tears in my eyes just thinking about it...and yes, I am sure I will cry when I cross the finish line this year too. :-)

September will be a month of rest.

October 25th - 10K Pumpkin Fest! This course was great last year. I knew I had to run it again.

I am finding it a little more difficult to find the time to train this year with work schedules and everything else going on. I just keep going back to, "No Excuses" and that pretty much sums it up. If I want it bad enough, I will find a way...and I want it. Can't wait to stand at the first starting line of the season and hear the first gunshot. I can't wait for that rush. Here we go feet...

Something New! (re-run)

There's something new on the right side of my blog. Look...see at the top there? If you remember this post, you will remember that on May 16th, I am participating in The 5K Run for Hungry Children.

My family and I are beyond blessed. I have personally never gone hungry and only have skipped a meal by my own choice. When Dan lost his job almost 9 months ago, I never worried about starving to death as a result, but this is a reality for my people around the world. We have so many resources here. My cupboards are full and our belly's are full. I can't imagine watching my kids go hungry, slowly starve to death, and not be able to do anything about it.

Please pray about and consider sponsoring me in this race. Thanks so much! You can also be praying for the day and that the weather would be decent.

Overfloweth

God sent one of his messengers to us yesterday afternoon...a friend who I met through some other people and got to know through facebook. She asked if she could get Kaitlyn a few things for summer, to which I agreed. I had no idea what "a few things" meant. Obviously more than I ever expected!!! Kaitlyn's closet now overfloweth (the boys were already set because of previous hand-me-downs):

Kaitlyn modeling her favorite outfit out of everything.

Total cost on all the kids spring and summer wardrobe:

$3/pair of fake crocs from Walmart - $12

New PJ's for Kaitlyn - $9

Total - $21

O taste and see that the LORD is good; How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him! ~Psalms 38:4

Eight Months...

Storm

Lifehouse

How long have I been in this storm?

So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form

Water's getting harder to tread

With these waves crashing over my head

If I could just see you

Everything would be all right

If I'd see you

This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water

And you will catch me if I fall

And I will get lost into your eyes

I know everything will be alright

I know everything is alright

I know you didn't bring me out here to drown

So why am I ten feet under and upside down

Barely surviving has become my purpose

Cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface

If I could just see you

Everything would be all right

If i'd see you

This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water

And you will catch me if I fall

And I will get lost into your eyes

And everything will be alright

And I will walk on water

You will catch me if I fall

And I will get lost into your eyes

I know everything will be alright

I know everthing is alright

Everything is alright

Everything is alright

Eight months in this storm of life. It's almost the longest wait I have ever experienced. I didn't wait this long while I was engaged to get married. And once I got to month eight, I was ready to get all of my kids out! :-)

The line that struck me the most was: I know you didn't bring me out here to drown. I truly believe that God didn't bring us here to drown us. But, it's something I have to keep reminding myself of because sometimes, it has felt like just that. It has often felt like we are trying to tread water and the waves keep getting higher and higher. It's exhausting when you have been treading for eight months...but it certainly builds strength.

It's those moments when He allows us to get a glimpse of himself through people he has sent our way to bless us or work that falls into our laps that we know everything is alright. It's when we see Him that our darkness turns to light.

I never thought this would last eight months.

I never thought we would be okay after eight months.

I never thought eight months would feel so normal.

He has been my comfort, my strength, my hope, my joy, my peace. He has been my everything through this time. The one I run to, the one I cling to. The one I cry to, the one I beg for mercy from. Just when I think I can't possibly go any farther, He picks me up and carries me. He sends some of Himself my way in human form to encourage me that I can go farther, even if it's on my hands and knees.

And, that very well may be where he wants me...

...and I am not, nor have I ever been a quitter.