Thankful

I've not been one for blogging lately...too busy, too stressed, and just not really that in to it. But, I couldn't pass up doing a thankful post this year.

I find myself staring at my dining room wall (which has "Give Thanks" written across it) reflecting on all God has done. I don't think I have ever been more thankful in my life...never ever:

I find myself thinking about and gazing at my husband often, missing him so much if we even spend a work day apart. I am thankful that we are still going strong and doing better than ever. Satan would love our marriage to fall apart, but no way are we giving him any ground. Marriage is hard work, but man, is it a beautiful thing. Never have I been more in love with my man, especially after the past three months. I don't think I have been more thankful for him in my life...never ever.

I find myself watching my kids play, sitting back and watching them laugh. They are such a joy in my life. I am so thankful for the three little lives He has entrusted Dan and me with. I have a renewed love for my children and I am determined to give my all. I don't think I have ever been more thankful for my kids in my life...never ever.

I am blown away at how God has carried us through these past almost 16 months. I am amazed at all He has provided and we continue to lack nothing. I am thankful for the roof over our heads, the cars in our garage, the food in our cupboards, the clothes in our closets, the shoes on our feet, the warmth of our beds, hot showers in the morning, a flick of a light switch at night. I don't think I have ever been more thankful for the little things and not so little things in life... never ever.

What would I do without our support system? We have such a huge support of family and friends. Honestly, I don't think I would still be standing after this long without these people. God has given us these wonderful people to come along side us and help us to know that He is still here with us through the darkest of times, whether it be a encouraging email or card or a little bit of cash to pay a bill. I don't think I have ever been more thankful for the people God has placed in my life...never ever.

As long as my legs work and my lungs still take in oxygen, I will run. It's an escape, a stress reliever, and a thrill. I am so thankful for the body that God has giving me and for the health He has blessed me with that I am able to run. It's something that I don't intend to ever give up. I don't think I have ever been more thankful that I can run...never ever.

I often think about my SAHM days. Although I long to be at home full time with my kids, I also know that God has blessed me with an incredible job and work environment. I have been working at my current job as a phlebotomist for almost a year now. It was hard to get a system going to keep all my plates spinning, but I feel like I finally have it down. I am thankful that I am able to help out my family financially and lessen the burden on my husband a little bit through this time. I am thankful for the skills that God has blessed me with and the people I get a chance to meet, even if it's ever so brief. I don't think I have ever been more thankful for my job...never ever.

I find myself reflecting on my Savior...on what He did for me and all He continues to do. I think about the fact that He knew my name and numbered my days even before I was alive. I think about His love and care for me. I see His had ever so present in my life. He has carried me places that I never would want to go again unless I knew that He would be right there beside me. I have never trusted in my Savior so much. I don't think I have ever been more thankful for my God in my life...never ever.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you out there! I hope this Thanksgiving you are able to reflect on all you have to be thankful for.

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is Good; His love endures forever.

~Psalms 118:1

Going where He sent us...

Dan and I both felt God's calling. It was a strong urge that we both could not ignore. We were going to get there somehow.

We made a quick decision on Monday night to fly out of state and help family in a time of need. The kids were dropped off at Dan's brother and sister-in-law's house and by Wednesday morning, at 3AM, we were on our way to the airport.

I am not going to go in to much detail at all. Only that, before I walked in to their house, I prayed that God would help me to pour everything I had in to them for the few days we were there. I asked for His help, knowing that I could not do this without Him to keep me going. I could see and feel his hand in everything. I have never been more physically or emotionally exhausted in my life, but by His grace I was able to keep going, keep my energy up, and love with all that I had.

I was thinking about this on the flight home. If Dan lost his job and we have endured these past almost 15 months of unemployed life only to be available at this very moment, it has all been worth it. I would go through it all again. All the tears, the heartache, the uncertainty, the pain, the pruning...I would go through it all again to be broken, humbled, and prepared for this week, for this trip.

I am an emotional mess right now. I was so excited to get back to my three precious babies, but I miss everyone I just left. My heart aches to be with them, the kiss all over them, to chase them around the house, to hear them laugh, to tickle them, to serve them, to braid their hair, to wash their faces. I knew it would be painful to leave...I just didn't know how painful...

Home

I'm dealing with a lot of mixed feeling right now...but, we are home. Tonight, I will post more.

Avoided

I bought it before Kaitlyn was even born. We were living in a one bedroom apartment with a den and the walls were closing in on us. I bought it and filled it up with baby girl clothes. It was for organization.

It survived a move and we've had it in one of the kids' closets ever since.

Recently it has been used for something other than organization.

Kaitlyn started kindergarten and the war began. She is a sweatshirt and sweatpants kinda girl...either that or skirts and dresses all the time. She hates jeans with a passion. Every morning, I would fight with my 5 year old about what she would be wearing for the day (and they say it gets worse when they are teenagers!). It would put her behind in the morning routine and she would head out the door with puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. I would feel terrible for her. It's no way to start a morning.

I have seen them before in magazines. When I was thinking about how to make the morning smoother, they popped in to my mind. I couldn't buy one so I made one myself out of the hanging organizer that I had purchased before this little girl was born. Little did I know, it would be used years later, when we would fight about what this little girl would wear.

I took the hanging organizer and labeled 5 pockets with the weekdays. Now, every Sunday, I pick out the weeks outfits for her...even down to what underwear she will wear that day. When she gets up in the morning, she knows to go to the day, take out that outfit, and put it on. We have come to an agreement that she can wear sweatpants a couple days out of the week. We haven't had an argument since.

Christmas Cards for Noah

I am reminded everyday just how fortunate Dan and I are to have three healthy children. I hope all of you will take the opportunity to be a part of this...I checked it out on snopes and it is legit.

Noah is a five year old boy that was diagnosed with stage IV neuroblastoma in 2007, after being in remission, they found out that the cancer is back and has spread. He is not expected to make in to Christmas and his Mom is asking that Christmas come a little early for him. All cards can be sent to:

Noah Biorkman

1141 Fountain View Circle

South Lyon, MI 48178

Take this chance to get in to the Christmas spirit a little early and get your kids involved too!

Wordless Wednesday (Family Twister Night)

Amazed at Fourteen

This past month has been nothing short of A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.

Fourteen months and I feel renewed.

When we lost our unemployment back in August, I thought it was hopeless...God had bigger plans.

He carried us through one month and I breathed a sigh of relief.

We walked with him through another month and the lights went on.

He is going to take care of us no matter what.

I thought living on 40% of what Dan was making when he was working was hard! These past two months have forced me to really believe God and claim His promises. Never in my life have a lived this way. We had no back up plan, no other choice. It was up to God to provide for us and I looked to Him for my Daily Bread. I have seen amazing things. Our freezer is full, my kids have closets full of winter clothes, and we have not been late on one single bill. God is Good seems like an understatement right now.

There are changes going on here...exciting ones!

We got a letter from UE two weeks ago saying that our benefits would be reinstated pending 30 days that they have to contest the decision. We expected to have to wait the 30 days to see anything deposited into our account. Well, that's not the case! We are praising God for the relief that he has brought to us...even if we lose it in the next two weeks.

I am still loving my job. I think back to how miserable I was where I was working last year (I was unloading trucks at walmart...you gotta do, what you gotta do). What a difference! I have a great boss and I work with wonderful people. I am currently taking steps to earn the title of Phlebotomy Tech 2, which will earn me a little raise. I am so thankful that God equipped me with the skills and training several years ago for such a time as this and I count it a blessing to be able to provide for my family.

The biggest change that is going to be taking place around here is Dan going back to school. I am so excited for him! We have thrown the idea around for a while and feel like we have "wasted" a year. It would be a shame for another year to pass and again be left with the "I wish we would have done this". He is waiting to hear on the grants he applied for. If he is approved, he will be taking a full load...if not, he will have to do it a little chunk at a time.

Amazing pretty much sums up this past month. A year ago, I complained about having to live on 40% of what Dan was making. After two months of living without that UE check, 40% is a blessing!

I have come to terms with the fact that life two years ago is something that we cannot go back to. It was a painful realization, but I had to deal with it. I was holding out for life to get back to that comfortable "normal"...back to the life I used to have where Dan went off to work and made good money and I stayed home with the kids...back to the life where I didn't feel a twinge of jealousy when people talked about going here, doing this, buying this. In the beginning, I could hope that we were going to be in this situation for just a short time...I could hope for my "before normal" and be happy for others when their husbands got a big bonus or even just got a job....when people were able to go on vacation or even just go out on a date. The months went by, and I could pretend to be happy, but I would get home or get off the phone and just sob. My heart ached to be able to just live a day without all this stress heavy on my back.

Then, after we lost our unemployment, God really spoke to me and to my heart revealing some pretty ugly things. I heard him say, "My child, are you lacking anything?" With the bitter tears running down my face, I thought and was forced to answer no. "Search yourself, search your heart." I found a prideful, jealous person that was still holding on to the past. Those feelings still creep up but I have learned to ask myself, "Are you taken care of? Are you lacking anything?" and the answer is always no.

Despite of me, God continues to bless us beyond what we could have ever imagined. The details of my everyday life that God has planned out and ordained before time amaze me.

I am amazed.