...because sometimes, it just what you gotta do. I thought for a moment and decided to get my camera. Some time in the near future, I will find this funny. I don't find this funny right now.
While I was playing with Collin, I thought the other two were downstairs playing nicely. They had found a bottle of baby powder and emptied the enitre thing out.
But those who wait upon the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. ~Isaiah 40:31
Teach me, Lord, to wait.
...don't let the, um, sneaky, black, used to be stray cat bite...or however that goes.Again, I am loving my book on Ruth. The paragraphs that follow are speaking about Boaz's lavish generosity toward the two widows, Naomi and Ruth.
They tell us hesed is a strong Hebrew word hat sums up the ideal lifestyle for God's people. It's the way God intended for human being to live together from the beginning to the end - the "love your neighbor as yourself" brand of living, an active, selfless, sacrificial caring for one another that goes against the grain of our fallen natures.
Two parties are involved - someone in desperate need and a second person who possesses the power and the resources to make a difference. Hesed is driven, not by duty or legal obligation, but by a bone-deep commitment - a loyal, selfless love that motivates a person to do voluntarily what no one has a right o expect or ask of them. They have the freedom to act or walk away without the slightest injury to their reputation. Yet they willingly pour themselves out for the good of someone else. It's actually the kind of love we find most fully expressed in Jesus. In a nutshell, hesed is the gospel lived out. ( The Gospel of Ruth, p. 115)
These two paragraphs really stuck out to me. There have been several times in the past 5.5 months that Dan and I have received groceries or money from someone. More times than not, we are blown away because of all people, they were the ones that, in our minds, could afford to help us the least. The sacrifice was huge. The gift spoke volumes to us. I want to live that way. The strangers we have never met, the people we hardly know, the couples that are struggling to pay their bills themselves...there is only one explanation for this : they have chosen to follow Christ and live out the gospel. No where in scripture does it say to only help those who have "invested" in us...only come to the aid of another if there has been a relationship there. That is not at all what Jesus lived or taught. It's extremely unfortunate that churches today, Christians today, are looking the other way while people among them are struggling. What an opportunity they miss. They chose to turn their heads, while knowing that they have the resources to help. It's a choice made out of selfishness and it has a devastating effect.
I am working on this myself.
This was the day...
My family got up at the crack of dawn and drove me to Detroit Metro. It was the first flight I have ever flown alone, the second time I had flown in my life. I had an eight AM flight and I was way early. I remember my parents kissing me goodbye. Waiting and watching until I got through security. I was fighting back tears as I turned around to wave. I found my gate and there I waited. I was wondering what the heck I was doing. I was convinced that I had gone crazy.
My flight was empty and I had a window seat. Half-way through my flight I had calmed down and was enjoying the beautiful clear day and the gorgeous view of Lake Michigan. I was just hoping He would be there waiting.
I will never forget the first time I saw him. I turned the corner, my eyes scanning back and forth, looking for him. I walked a little further and there he was. Our eyes met. I remember thinking that he looked really nervous. Rather than have an awkward stare down, I focused on something else until I got closer. I walked up to him, said hey, and that's how my weekend began.
Things I will never forget...
...I will never forget how many times Wait for Me by Rebecca St. James just happened to be playing throughout the weekend when we were in the car, whether it be on CD or radio. I later learned, he planned it that way. I guess just a subtle hint.
...I will never forget him being so incredibly tired and falling asleep on the couch next to me almost immediately after getting back to his place. It is kinda comical looking back on it. I was left sitting there wondering if I was really that boring, if I really made him that comfortable, and if it was a taste of how my weekend with him was going to go.
...I will never forget my tour of historical Woodstock, particularly a review of the movie, Ground Hog Day. I tried to act interested. In reality, I just liked being with him and hearing the sound of his voice...what he said, I have no idea.
...I will never forget going to Junior High youth group with him. He was a leader. I saw him light up instantly. I knew this was his heart. I remember sitting there watching him. It's the moment where I realized there might be something there and he might be a little bit attractive. :-)
...I will never forget sleeping until past ten Saturday morning, coming down with no make up, my hair a mess, in my Pj's and him and his parents sitting around the table waiting for me. Apparently my Dad had warned them about my habit of walking around in my underwear...embarrassing, but true. Not that weekend though.
...I will never forget the day in the city. He spent an incredible amount of money, which I feel bad about to this day. I thought everyone got paid vacation time. He didn't and he didn't have much money to spare either. He took me to Navy Pier and we saw a movie on the IMAX screen. I told him a few months later that I would have probably held his hand if he would have reached for mine...he didn't touch me the whole weekend except to hug me when we said goodbye.
...I will never forget saying good bye to him at the airport. I waited as long as I could to make my way through security. We hugged longer than friends do. I wondered when I would see him again.
...I will never forget the plane ride home. I am glad it was dark because as I glanced back at the city, tears filled my eyes. I knew I could not live without him.
...I will never forget him calling me almost immediately after my plane landed to see if I was okay. My parents said that there was something new in my eyes...a little sparkle.
...I will never forget the email from him that was waiting for me when I got home. I printed it out and still have it to this day. It said, among other things that I was the one and he loved me. I was convinced I was going to marry him.
The rest is history. We dated for six months. Got married six months after that. Here we are coming up on our sixth wedding anniversary. I have never loved him more.
Please forgive me, important looking man in a business suit:
I thought I should explain myself. You caught me at one of those moments. If you have small children you might understand. You see, we had been at the doctor for two hours and fifteen minutes. For little ones, that seems like an eternity...for a Mom of three little ones, it seems like a nightmare. We had two check ups, three shots, and some blood work. I am convinced that my two boys are hypoglycemics like myself, but you would think that I would have learned by now to always be prepared when going anywhere around meal times or snack times. Without a snack to tide them over, they quickly turn into basket cases. I think I have learned my lesson.
Considering everything, I thought they did quite well. I wish you would have been there during our 45 minute wait before seeing the doctor. They were pleasant then. I thought to myself, "the pep talk in the car on the way there and the several, 'help me make it through this without embarrassment' actually worked!"
Then came the next 30 minute wait for the lab work. My daughter said it all when she said, "This seems like my 10 hour night time." She is quite brilliant for her age. Yes, my middle child spent most of it crawling around on the ground lending a helping hand to housekeeping. It was a germ-a-phobe mothers nightmare. Oh and who could forget my youngest screaming almost the whole entire time, while thrashing so violently he bit his lip to shreds. I was a sight. It's funny because you never think that you will ever be that mother. When you are, you immediately vow to never pass judgement again.
So, when you passed by in the parking lot you must know that all of this had just transpired. I realize that I was laughing, big belly laughs at that, while my three children sat crying crammed in the back seat of my Chevy Aveo. I realize that I kept laughing even harder while cramming my over sized stroller into the trunk, all but sitting on it to make it fit. Yes, I was laughing. I was laughing the hardest I have laughed in days. For if I didn't, I am sure I would have been collapsed behind my car in the parking lot sobbing into my sweat stained shirt. Man, this Mom thing is hard work!
I don't think there has ever been a book my Father-in-law has given me to read (or recommended) that I haven't liked, to a point where I was finding it hard to put down. The latest is no exception.
On Monday, he gave me the book The Gospel of Ruth by Carolyn James. I started it that night and I am half way through it. I have always loved the book of Ruth, but have never really thought about or read about it like this. It's all falling fresh on me. I have been picking it up whenever I can.
If you had asked me what the book of Ruth was about before, I would have mentioned nothing about suffering in my description. However, the suffering is intense. So intense that Naomi is convinced that the Lord's hand has gone out against her (vs 13 of ch. 1) and changes her name to Mara because the Lord has afflicted her and made her life very bitter (vs. 20-21 of ch. 1). She has lost her husband and both of her sons. She is left a widow with no children. Talk about seeming unbearable. The author refers to her as a female Job.
Over the next week or so I will be occasionally posting certain paragraphs that have really stuck out to me. It will be hard to choose because this book is that good :
Somehow we've convinced ourselves that the more mature we become as Christians - and both Naomi and Job were seasoned believers - the thicker our spiritual skin will become. We'll be resilient in adversity. It's a sign of spiritual failure (so we tell ourselves) when suffering gets the better of us and our faith in God gets shaky. Such notions (which aren't supported by scripture, certainly not by the legacies of Naomi and Job) get in the way of our spiritual growth and block us from engaging the God who pursues us in our pain. To tell the truth, when the full force of our sufferings hit us, no matter how long we've walked with God or how much theology we've mastered, faith in God can take an awful beating. ~ The Gospel of Ruth, Carolyn James (p. 43)
A new day. A decision to make. Am I going to continue to think about yesterday or pick myself up and focus on today? My choice is today, please. God help me.
Yesterday, I turned to God to give me some sort of comfort...because I have learned that He's the only one that will really do the trick. He gave me something from my Esther Bible study from a few days ago :
