I grew up with an artificial tree. I prefer them actually. You set them up when you want and take them down just the same. So, naturally, when my parents were getting rid of the artificial tree I grew up with, I called dibs...and so, we've set up an artificial tree every year but two. Those two years we bought our real tree from Menards...which seemed to negate the purpose of a real tree for me, but whatever.
This year I was all set to set up our artificial tree. My husband had something different in mind. He set a date for us to go to a tree farm and cut our own...which in theory sounds like a glorious family outing...but in reality, I just pictured complaining, fighting, and whining.
My husband's mind was made up and so that's exactly what we did. This past Sunday, we loaded up after church with boots on our feet and the saw in the trunk and headed to cut our own tree...and it was actually a pleasant experience...complete with a horse drawn wagon ride out to the farm...many "I found the perfect tree!!!", and a nice long walk back with nice conversations, piggy back rides, and hand holding. We made great memories and I am so glad I didn't push back when Dan made his suggestion. He's right, a real tree is much more fun.
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
Long Walk and Real Trees
little somethin by Beth at 1:08 PM 0 things to add
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
Again
little somethin by Beth at 9:50 AM 0 things to add
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Misophonia : The end of family life as we knew it.
Over a year ago, my Princess started exhibiting strange behavior at meal times. It was unbearable for her to be around any one that was eating. She would either run down the hallway to her room screaming with her ears plugged and slam the door or she would fall to the ground and hold her ears while she sobbed. She has always been quite dramatic and so we started punishing her for this behavior...which only seemed to make things worse. We didn't know what else to do and we thought it was a behavioral issue that we needed to nip in the butt.
As the weeks went by, her sensitivity only seemed to get worse. Not only did her outbursts happen when someone was chewing, but it was also when someone came down with a runny nose. The sniffing and stuffy breathing sent her through the roof. It also was happening when someone would clink their spoon or fork on their bowl or plate.
At her nine year appointment, I brought it up to her pediatrician to see what he had to say about it. I was disappointed when he had no answers but rather referred her to a psychiatrist. I will admit, we are all a little crazy in this family, but I know my Princess is not a headcase. The thought of taking her to someone and her having that label was not a route I was willing to take. I needed answers before anything else. Why was she acting this way?
So, in the days that followed, I turned to the Internet. I wouldn't always recommend doing this, but in this particular case, I found the answer I was looking for : Misophonia...which literally means - "the hatred of sound". I found article upon article and several blogs that seemed to be describing my Princess to a "t".
Misophonia is defined as a neurological disorder in which negative experiences (anger, flight, hatred, disgust) are triggered by specific sounds. Although I was encouraged to have answers as to "what", it was discouraging to read about how this disorder effects a persons every day life. I didn't understand all of the "hows" or "whys" but it gave me the little understanding that I needed.
At the start of dinner, I looked around the table and said, "Everyone, I would like to welcome a guest to our table tonight." It was a little bit of a joke, but there was a lot of truth. It's been a long time since we were five around the table.
It may be a fluke. It may not happen again for another few weeks, months, maybe even a year. I am trying not to get my hopes up...but, I had to celebrate this little victory tonight...so I baked a loaf of apple cinnamon bread...and hopefully we can all eat it in the same room.
little somethin by Beth at 6:58 PM 0 things to add
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Goodbye Face Lotion
little somethin by Beth at 9:47 AM 1 things to add
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
No puke on the carpet...
We have had the stomach bug a lot this winter...a whole lot! Back when the kids were younger, them throwing up was probably on my list of my top ten fears...maybe even my top five. Now, not so much. I hate when they are sick, but all of them are so good about making it either to the bucket or making it to the toilet.
On Sunday evening, my Little Man started complaining of a tummy ache. Any time that happens, my husband and I have set up a basic procedure : move the child with the complaint to the couch, get out the old towel, and place the bucket with a trash bag in it in the proper place (on top of the old blanket) at a close distance to the child. We have it down to a science. Then we wait...and usually it doesn't take long.
The puking started and my Little Man was a champ. He slept most of the day on Monday and was almost back to normal on Tuesday. We now cross our fingers and hope that my efforts yesterday of wiping the place down with lysol did some good.
It's the little things...like no puke on the carpet.
little somethin by Beth at 12:09 PM 0 things to add
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Image
The older my daughter gets, the more I realize just how harsh this world is.
Maybe it's because something happened in me once I turned thirty. Maybe it was all in my head, or maybe it really is a phenomenon that many experience upon leaving their twenties...all of a sudden, I didn't care. I didn't care what the world said was beautiful or in, I was doing my own thing. I didn't care what people said about me, I was doing my own thing. It's really made life so much more enjoyable for me. In these past six or so months especially, I have discovered that it's not up to me to fix something (or someone) or make sure someone is happy with the choices I have made (or even explain them)...I have my God and I have my little family and I am happy as a clam. It doesn't mean that I don't value friendships and need those important people in my life...it just means that I have redefined the "important" in my life.
This phenomenon that I experienced when I said goodbye to my twenties has made my heart ache for my little girl even more...if only it wouldn't have taken me so long to discover who I am and be comfortable with that. My heart aches when I hear her criticize herself in any way...most recently her concern over "looking fat". That word is like nails on a chalk board to me...I hate that word. I especially hate it when it is coming out of the mouth of my precious baby girl as she uses it to describe how she looks in a pair of jeans.
After baby one and baby two did a number on this momma's body, I have been all about not letting myself go. I have worked hard to get myself back in to shape and along the way, fell in love with running. It's a lifestyle for me...an outlet...and has provided me with a sense of self and shown me just how strong I am. I am comfortable in my own skin and hope and pray I can teach my daughter by example.
I am learning though that I don't have to teach her to criticize her own body. This world is full of picture perfect women up on billboards, beautiful flawless faces on T.V., flat stomachs staring at you as you stand to check out at the grocery store....and she's been watching...but, this momma is not about to let my baby girl buy in to that...no mother should.
Just when I was ready to take drastic measures...and wondering if our countless conversations have been sinking in...I was pleasantly surprised to listen to a conversation she was having with a friend while they were working on a school project together in our kitchen.
Her project partner, a little boy who she's been in the same class with since they were in first grade, out of the blue said something about him being chubby and his belly being big...even boys can be self conscious. I wondered what my princess was going to do and waited, like a fly on the wall, not saying a word. He grabbed his stomach and shook it. My princess got up and went on to say that it was no big deal...everyone has that. She stood up and demonstrated how her thighs shake back and forth when she wiggles her legs. They laughed about it and went on making their school project together. Not only was she sympathetic, she was also able to bring light to a subject, pass it off as no big deal, and move on.
There are days where I feel as if I can do nothing right when it comes to raising my kids. My shortcomings and failures stare me right in the eyes and convince me that my kids will most definitely need therapy. But most often, there are moments like this one...that I am so proud of my children and wonder in the grace of God that he would entrust me with these three precious lives.
little somethin by Beth at 11:43 AM 0 things to add
Friday, January 10, 2014
Flashback Friday : August 2002
I look at these two kids and find it really hard to believe that one of them is actually me. We had just gotten engaged a few days before and we were on vacation with Dan's side of the family in Tennessee. This trip was the first time we were going to be able to spend more that a weekend together. Good times, good times...although, I would not want to go back for anything. I would not trade where my husband and I are at in our marriage now for the younger, more carefree us. Happy Friday Flashback Fun.
little somethin by Beth at 1:32 PM 0 things to add
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Picture Highlights from 2013
little somethin by Beth at 1:11 PM 0 things to add
Friday, December 27, 2013
Looking Back
The older I get, the more important it becomes to me to look back on the passing year as it comes to a close and gather something from it...some lesson I can learn, something I can take away...food for thought maybe. I have always believed that there are lessons to learn in everything.
― F. Scott Fitzgerald, A Nice Quiet Place.
little somethin by Beth at 1:38 PM 0 things to add
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Merry Christmas 2013
Never in my thirty some years of life have I ever stayed home on Christmas Day...until this year. It was the best gift I could have been given and I am so thankful to my husband for making that decision for us. We took our time around our little tree opening our gifts, we made a big breakfast that everyone enjoyed, we spent almost the entire day in our PJs, we played games, watched a movie, and later on went to the movie theater to see Frozen. It was a pretty neat experience seeing a show on Christmas Day...maybe a tradition we will have to adopt. We came home and my husband fixed us a bbq rib dinner with garlic mashed potatoes, broccoli, and rolls. It was wonderful spending the day together, just us. I am looking forward to many more Christmas Days spent at home.
little somethin by Beth at 11:48 PM 0 things to add
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
And I Cried
I have always been in good health...with a great immune system...how quickly that can change.
I wasn't feeling the best for about a week and decided to go in to the doctor on Sept 10th and get things checked out. I figured that it was allergy related (even though I have never suffered from allergies) and I would get a quick fix for them. I was having shortness of breath, killer headaches, and feeling just plain worn out.
I walked in expecting allergy meds and maybe allergy testing and walked out with an abnormal EKG and a script to have some lab work drawn along with an order for an echo.
It's funny where your mind can go in just under 24 hours...all of the "what ifs" that flash before your eyes...different scenarios that run through your head.
I went in the next morning for an echo, which I was so nervous about, and then headed over to the lab for some lab work.
I made my way home and about an hour later, my doctor called me personally to tell me that a few of my results from of blood work didn't look so good. My white count was low, my H&H was low, and my iron was very low. He ordered up a few more tests and I got another call.
In my mind, things went from bad to worse.
I was given orders on what to do next and was told to come in for follow up lab work in two weeks.
In the following days, the little things became big things to me:
I sat with my both of my sons as they read to me...
and cried.
I watched my daughter put on a private skit for me from the comfort of my bed...
and cried.
I watched my husband work his magic in the kitchen...
and cried.
I went to church and sang "Great is Thy Faithfulness"...
and cried.
I felt the sun on my face and soaked in the beautiful fall-like weather...
and cried.
And today, for the first time in over a week (against my Mom's better judgement), I leashed up my Henry boy, put on my shoes, and went out for a run...
and cried.
I cried not because I don't feel quite like myself or because I have been too tired to do much of anything, but I cried because in this past week I have realized just how much I have taken for granted. Why is it so easy to do?
While things are still up in the air, I am still left with the question, "What on earth is going on?!", and I am wondering how much longer my energy level is going to be so low, the old hymn that we sang on Sunday rings so true to me right now :
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—
“Great is Thy faithfulness,” Lord, unto me!
little somethin by Beth at 6:55 PM 0 things to add
Monday, September 2, 2013
Five Years Ago : September 2, 2008
Our little guy had just turned one exactly a month before. Our other two kids were three and four. I was a stay at home mommy. He was a hard worker. He left for work early every morning and we were all eager to greet him at the door just before dinner. We had everything we needed...and a lot of what we wanted too. We were blessed...living out our fairytale...without a care in the world.
I still think back on this very day, 5 years ago and still remember that feeling...the feeling of being punched in the gut...the wind being let out of our sails...the lights being turned out on us...leaving us in the dark to face an unknown reality.
My phone rang at lunch time. It was not uncommon for him to call, but something about the timing of his call seemed a bit off. He spoke the words that I was hoping never to hear : he was let go...no work...unemployed. I still remember where I was, what the weather was like, the exact spot where I was standing. I guess when your world feels like it's crashing down around you, you remember where those pieces first started to fall.
And just like that, everything changed...forever.
Little did I know that this day would begin a 22 month long unemployment for my husband where everything I knew, believed, and hoped would be tested. My marriage would be tested, friends would become distant...some even judged our decisions, we would be told that God must be judging us, I would be criticized for leaving the house and going and getting a job, we would feel alone, hopeless, and desperate.
But...and it's a big but...
Little did we know the goodness of those who love us, how our marriage would be strengthened, what a blessing my job would become and what a family the people that I work with would become to us, our faith would be strengthened after it was put through the refining fire, how changed we would become in our way of thinking, how tenderly God would care for us, and how we would never, ever go without.
It still brings tears to my eyes when I think back on the countless times money would show up in the mail, people would drop by to give us groceries, others would pay a few of our bills, give our babies Christmas gifts, pay for date nights for us, a gym membership was bought for me...and the list goes on and on.
Our 22 month long journey seemed so long at times. Some days it was exhausting just getting out of bed and extremely hard to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Month after month would go by and it seemed as if our prayers were never going to be answered. The six month anniversary came and went...the one year anniversary was such a dark day...one and a half years came and I felt as if we had been forgotten. I was sure that my heart was not strong enough to bear September 2, 2010.
Almost exactly 2 months before our two year anniversary, Dan went back to work. He was working for 40% of what he used to make but we were so thankful that he was working.
Contrary to what people may believe, after one goes back to work after being unemployed for so long, there are a lot of pieces to pick back up and a lot of wounds that need healing. The job wasn't a cure all...and even we were surprised to find this out.
Its been such a long road...but I wouldn't trade this road for anything. I learned things about myself that I wouldn't have learned otherwise. I watched my husband struggle and work odd jobs to keep food on our table and a roof over our heads. I became so confident in the fact that, no matter what, he will do anything to provide for our family.
I feel that this is the year that we've finally come full circle. Back in June, my husband made the jump and really took a risk for our family...a risk that has worked out. He is working a job that he loves and for the first time in at least five years, he is happy again.
This day brings up a lot of emotion...but most of all it leaves me thinking just how incredibly thankful I am for the blessings that we have been given.
Our little guy just turned six exactly one month ago. Our other two kids are eight and nine. I was a stay at home mommy, but I have been at a wonderful job for almost five years and I love the people I work with. He was a hard worker and still is. He leaves for work every morning after helping the kids get off to school and is sometimes able to work from home to spend more time with us. We have everything we need...and a lot of what we want too. We are blessed...but know it's not always going to look like a fairytale...and know that no matter what life throws our way, we are loved, never alone, and God will carry us on days when we feel we can't take another step.
little somethin by Beth at 6:36 AM 0 things to add