Last week, we knew our van could not be driven any longer. Oil was really leaking out of it and it wasn't just leaking from one place...it was several. It was kinda like, take the van in, have them look at it, and when they call back squint and pray before they tell you the grand total as if someone is about to punch you in the gut.
We were punched alright...more than once.
After a few days of trying to diagnose exactly what was wrong with it and where the leaks (yes, plural) were coming from, we were told it would be just under a grand...probably. After taking a closer look the grand total came to $1491! Ouch.
When we got the news, I am not going to lie, I was upset and even went in to a little "why" with God. Why now? Dan had just worked three side jobs that had brought in about what the first quote was. We tucked it away in savings and it was a nice little cushion. Why couldn't it have just been the first amount? The second amount is basically half a months income. I was angry and a little panicked.
We were very tempted to pull out some plastic that we have tucked away. Our time is running out and what if.... What if something else comes up? What if we need that money for something else? Dan and I asked those questions out loud. Just seconds later, I blurted out, "Well, then, God will have to provide more money to pay for that something else," and something that He has proven during this past (almost) year is that He always does.
It's nice to have money in the bank...to get the statement and see the total slowly getting bigger. It feels good and is quite an accomplishment for us considering our circumstances. I realized through what has gone on this past week is that I had this feeling of comfort because of this money in the bank when my real comfort should only come from knowing and believing that God is in control of our situation and He will take care of us.
So, it was extremely painful taking that money out of our savings account...to see the total dwindle once again. It was a little scary to have that cushion pulled out from under us. But, the good Lord gives and the good Lord takes away.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.
Rollin' Out
10 years ago
1 things to add:
I guess trusting God is a courageous thing. My kids have been singing Joshua 1:9: "Be strong and of good courage, be not afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." I'm starting to understand why God said that!
Watching as He reveals your storyline is kinda like a modern day Pilgrim's Progress and proves again both to a watching world and His own children that He cares and is faithful.
Your brave faith is inspiring!
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