452 days

I have been working outside of the home for over a year now. It started out as an act of desperation in a not very likable position. But, one year ago, I got the news that I had gotten the phlebotomy job that I had been praying for.

It has been a perfect fit for me. My boss has been really great and has even had Dan do some side work in the past for him. My co workers are awesome. It's unlike any work environment I have been in ever. We are truly a team and it makes leaving my family and going in to work a little easier. I'll admit that my vein fetish helps a bit too.

It's been fifteen months since Dan lost his job. Every month, I hope and pray it's the last 2nd of the month that we will see that Dan is still unemployed. I don't wish for my old life anymore. I am happy to walk with God down this road that He has set in place for us. Part of me though...okay, a lot of me, still cries out and asks Him to take this cup from me. With the busyness of the season, it's easy to not set out time in His Word and in prayer...and then I begin to feel it again. I feel despair, jealousy, selfishness, sadness, and anger. All of these are a reminder that I can't walk this alone...that I can't let go of His hand for a second.

I am hoping that January will bring some exciting things for us...hoping and praying.

Please God, only one more 2nd...