Keep Dancing

The other night while I was at work, Dan had a tough night with Kaitlyn that resulted in discipline. After her punishment was over he asked her what she was thinking about to which she replied something about ways she could get out of "this life". He asked her what she meant by that and she told him that she wished she could be a grown up.

I remember wishing the same exact thing. Thinking that it would be wonderful to have my independence, do whatever, whenever, eat whatever I wanted, and dress how I wanted....stay up as late as I wanted and make my own rules. Then the time came for me to be an adult and it wasn't as fun as I imagined it would be. Along with all of the choices adults have in life also comes a whole lot of stress, responsibility, and lack of carefree living. There was supposed to be a lot more free time than this, I am very sure of that...at least it's how it seemed when I was seven.

Just as my little princess occasionally wants to wish away this precious stage in her life, it comes as a reminder to me that too often lately I want to wish away this stage that we seem to be stuck in...and at times the light at the end of this tunnel is too dim or just plain burnt out...Dan being unemployed isn't getting any easier.

When I am sitting on my little girl's bed watching her twirling around to a song she has picked on an old Girls of Grace CD of mine, I catch myself whispering, "freeze this moment, freeze this moment, remember this," and wishing there was someway I could make her realize that someday...not too far down the road...she is going to wish she could spend the afternoon, without a care in the world, twirling around in a ballerina tutu.

It's really hard to believe that I will look back and miss these past 19 months. It's hard to believe that I will wish to go back. But, my little girl serves as a reminder to me not wish this stage away either...to find what good there is on this road that feels like it's crumbling beneath my feet and just keep dancing...