To My Friends...

It started out as a silent hum
barely audible
but, in a still quiet
I could make out the tune
and the darkness felt a little less lonely

Time went by
a few more voices were added
and I didn't have to strain so much
to make out the tune
familiar and comforting

Now here I stand
surrounded by music
harmonies sung in unison
a beautiful song
a song that helps me find my way back


Many friends gathered
reminding me of my inner song
and when I am too weak
and can't bare to mouth the words
I sit quietly and they sing it for me

Mikeschair - Let the Waters Rise

Don't know where to begin
Its like my world's caving in
And I try but I can't control my fear
Where do I go from here?

sometimes its so hard to pray
When You feel so far away
But I am willing to go
Where you want me to
God, I trust You

There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

I will swim in the deep
'Cuz You'll be next to me
You're in the eye of the storm
And the calm of the sea
You'll never out of reach

God, You know where I've been
You were there with me then
You were faithful before
You'll be faithful again
I'm holding Your hand

There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

God Your love is enough
You will pull me through
I'm holding onto You
God Your love is enough
I will follow You
I will follow You

Ohhh

There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

Ohhh

What they wanted to say...

I happeded upon this post...this blog...and liked what I read...what I saw.

Here's What I Wanted to Say .

Wordless Wednesday

The North Face : Prayer

I have been slowly chugging along in The North Face of God by Ken Gire. The subtitle: Hope for the times when God seems indifferent. There has been a lot that has stood out to me, hit me, and just plain left me in tears. I will be sharing bits and pieces over the next few weeks. This is one of those that left me in tears:

God help me, please!
Please don't humiliate me again,
not before my friends
not before my wife
not before my children
not before my parents...

Father, what's helping find me a job compared to the power it takes
You to run this world for even one day?

Nothing!

If a sparrow doesn't fall without You noticing, why aren't you noticing me? Why are you tending millions of beautiful flowers that bloom today and are gone tomorrow but You won't tend to me, Your child? One nod, one word from You and a door would open. Why are You humiliating me?...

Jesus, I don't know any more words. I have no more words. Does Your silence mean, No, You won't help me? Does it mean, wait?

How long?

I'm listening, Lord. Straining to hear.

I'm calling, Lord, with all my hear. Please, let me laugh again, help me find my reason for getting up in the mornings, take this humiliation that slaps me in the face all day, every day.

-The North Face of God, pg 4-5, a prayer from the author's friend, Lee, during his time of unemployment.

I am a Warrior!

This past Saturday, I ran my first Warrior Dash. You can read about it here.

Cousins

Remembered

Remembered - (verb) keep somebody in mind: to keep somebody in mind for attention or consideration

It came in the form of a Lil K lesson that I was working on for my preschool church class.
God. keeps. His. promises.
I was supposed to teach the kids
that God remembers
In a time in my life where I often feel as if
He has forgotten me...us
I was preparing a lesson on God remembering
And I was having a hard time
believing this myself.

And God remembered Noah...
And God remembered Abraham...
And God remembered Rachel...

Just to name a few.

Remembered is an action

God is acting.

God has not forgotten.
Not only does He remember
He calls me to remember
Remember all He has brought us through
The promises He has kept
All that He has accomplished
His provision
After listing all I could remember in my journal
I had nothing to do but be thankful.

The story of my life goes...
And God remembered Beth.

What Are You Waiting For?

Plants

About two weeks ago, my neighbor (who is a very funny Indian woman) gave me two cucumber plants and two tomato plants. She told me to plant them and I knew she would be checking on me to see if I did and where I put them. I wish I had the space for a full blown garden, but unfortunately do not. I have a few flower beds along the house and planted the plants she gave me where I thought they would get the most sun. I have been giving them a lot of care as to not disappoint my neighbor because she keeps checking on them. I haven't been out to take a look at my plants since Friday because of the rain. I went out there today and I was very pleased to see flowers on my cucumber plants!! I just hope I don't do something to kill them before I can taste my first homegrown (from my home) cucumber. My tomato plants, on the other hand, are not doing so hot...oops.

Twenty-one Months

Today marks twenty-one months since my husband lost his job. I have tried to stay off of the subject...tried not to mention it. But, I don't want to pretend it away.

Time is ticking away and I am feeling the crunch more than ever. Unemployment has taken me to a new low, when I thought I couldn't get any lower. This is my new beginning, right? This was the year for us. The year is halfway over and the pressure is mounting instead of being relieved.

I sit inside my house at night after everyone has gone to sleep and I pray that time doesn't run out for us.

I walk the halls at work and pray with each step that God would provide a job for my husband so I can tuck my babies in to their beds at night.

On the drive home, I allow myself a little time to cry and with tears running down my cheeks I pray we would be able to keep our home.

As I watch my kids run and play outside, I pray that they would remain mostly oblivious to this trial in our lives and they would only remember the good.

Twenty-one months of praying that there wouldn't be another...and I pray even harder that we don't reach twenty-two.

It's getting harder and harder to be optimistic...or hopeful for that matter.

I'm sorry, it seems like you have caught me on a dark day...forgive me, I will be better in a few days.