The North Face : Prayer

I have been slowly chugging along in The North Face of God by Ken Gire. The subtitle: Hope for the times when God seems indifferent. There has been a lot that has stood out to me, hit me, and just plain left me in tears. I will be sharing bits and pieces over the next few weeks. This is one of those that left me in tears:

God help me, please!
Please don't humiliate me again,
not before my friends
not before my wife
not before my children
not before my parents...

Father, what's helping find me a job compared to the power it takes
You to run this world for even one day?

Nothing!

If a sparrow doesn't fall without You noticing, why aren't you noticing me? Why are you tending millions of beautiful flowers that bloom today and are gone tomorrow but You won't tend to me, Your child? One nod, one word from You and a door would open. Why are You humiliating me?...

Jesus, I don't know any more words. I have no more words. Does Your silence mean, No, You won't help me? Does it mean, wait?

How long?

I'm listening, Lord. Straining to hear.

I'm calling, Lord, with all my hear. Please, let me laugh again, help me find my reason for getting up in the mornings, take this humiliation that slaps me in the face all day, every day.

-The North Face of God, pg 4-5, a prayer from the author's friend, Lee, during his time of unemployment.