If I tried to make a list
of everything I have to be thankful for
I know I could go on for days and days
and then a few days more
I am really undeserving
blessed beyond all measure
my God, my family, friends, and health
some of the things I treasure
So, this morning as I bow my head
and then think throughout the day
I remember that I would be nothing
without the One who lights my way.
My princess is getting her tonsils and adenoids out...finally. It's been a long time coming. They probably should have come out three years ago. She's the perfect candidate...has every criteria...every single one of them. I took her in to an ENT yesterday and it was really eye opening and made me feel pretty guilty for not pushing harder for this sooner. Her tonsils have not been a good friend to her. They are always enlarged and actually touch eachother in the back of her throat.
I have never had surgery myself and the thought of my princess going under is a little bit scary...even if it's just her tonsils and adenoids. Her surgery date has been set for the middle of December and now the countdown begins. After I got off the phone with the scheduling department this morning, I found myself a little anxious. I went in to my room and had to say to myself out loud, "You love her, God, more than I ever could or ever will." And I know, she will rest well in His hands.
I talked about it all with her last night and she is worried about everything...especially the pain...and how she will be going to sleep. If you could remember to keep my princess in your prayers over the next couple of weeks...that her fears would be calmed, that she would remain healthy, and that the surgery would go great with no complications this Momma would appreciate it.
A little over a year ago, I learned about Reeces Rainbow. I have spent a lot of time looking at these children's faces, praying for them, and reading about the families that are waiting (or have waited) to bring them home. My heart breaks that time is running out for many, many of them. During the months of November and December they are doing a fundraiser where you can go and sponsor a Christmas Angel to help with their adoption costs. Head on over there, pray for them, and possibly choose one (or more) to sponsor.
CLICK HERE to Put the Angel Tree Bubble on Your Blog! Thank you!- I am a Survivor fanatic...maybe not the worst, but it is my absolute favorite show (Apprentice coming in a close second followed by Amazing Race)and I have been watching since the show first aired. This season, there hasn't been many surprises. Last night, though, things got a bit shaken up and I was so happy to crawl in to bed knowing that Brenda went home. Pathetic I know...but everyone has their little quirks.
- It looks like my hubby is down to working four days a week through the winter now...getting every Friday off. It's been so nice to have him home with us to take the kids to school, be there when they get home, and have family dinner with him there at night. I am so thankful that his employer balances work so that they are able to keep working through the winter. I am looking forward to those nice paychecks again in the Spring/Summer, but we will all enjoy this little break.
- Kait came down with Strep again this week. Looking back through her chart at the doctor's on Monday, it is clear that she needs her tonsils out. We have been dealing with strep, tonsillitis, snoring, and sleep walking long enough. Monday I am taking her to an ENT about getting her tonsils out. It's a bit scary for me (and I haven't even gone in to detail with her about it yet), but I know it will make such a difference in my little girl.
Another blog that I read almost daily is From the Heart. This extraordinary family has just added a new member...their 4th adoption. If you have a little time, explore their blog and go back through previous posts on their adoptions of their three beautiful toddlers. Pray for them while you read.
November is National Adoption Month. One of my favorite blogs to read is Casa de King. She is doing National Adoption Month posts all month. Head on over and check it out. I love the way she writes, how frank she is about her life with her three adopted kiddos, and the great attitude she has. Refreshing!
Sometimes it's hard to believe that it's been a little over 4 months since my husband went back to work. Other days, it seems so fresh. There are still days when I get a call from him some time other than on his lunch break and my heart sinks wondering if it's happening again. There are times in conversation, if he's had a bad day at work, that I express my worry about him losing his job. I am sure it's in the back (or some days, the front) of his mind too...it's changed us...we no longer take his employment for granted.
To think about it happening again exhausts me. To think about walking that path again makes me cry out to God throughout the day...thanking Him for His provision, but praying for continued rest.
I guess I imagined my husband would go back to work and things would come together more quickly for us. The evidence is still all around us: debt, an almost non existent savings, projects that are still on hold, hopes and dreams that we have yet to act upon. I forget that it's just been four months...that we have just been through two years of hard stuff...that this is still the time to heal....time to rest...to keep gathering up the pieces and just walk on. Yesterday, my God whispered this to my heart. He reminded me to slow down...that we've only had eight paychecks. We've had eight paychecks! My heart is thankful.
Four years ago, on November 5th, 2006, a positive two weeks before became heartache as I sat in church...instantly I knew. I was cramping. I was filled with worry. I couldn't get home fast enough. I was losing my baby...and there was absolutely nothing I could do.
I slept most of the afternoon away, curled up in a ball, hoping that somehow it would cradle her enough that she would be safe and all would be well. Later on that evening, I knew she was gone.
The miracle of life all the more real to me...the guilt burned deep. Just two weeks before, I saw those two lines. This wasn't "our" plan. We already had our perfect family of four. One more would just complicate things.
It didn't take long for me to come around. In a couple of days I was planning, excited, dreaming. And then the day came. Dreams crushed...and I felt guilty for my initial reaction...like somehow in those first few days, I sealed her fate.
We chose to name her : Madelyn, meaning magnificent. Magnificent for what she taught us, what she meant in the short little time she lived inside of me. Without her, we wouldn't have surrendered our will to His. We wouldn't have our little man. I wouldn't have to same view on what a miracle all my children are...every child is.
Shortly after we lost her, I had a dream about what she looked like. She was gorgeous. She looked like Landon. She was okay. She was safe. She is waiting for us.
Another year has gone by...another day to reflect more than most...and be thankful.
The first few weeks of kindergarten were painful ones...both for my middle man and also for his Momma. There were many tears, moments of kneeling with him in the hallway of the school reassuring him it would be okay, and a teary phone call home. It broke my heart. It made me question our decision to start him in school this year instead of waiting until next year. I prayed, and prayed for my middle man.
Last night we had his very first parent/teacher conference. I was excited to hear what his teacher had to say...figuring it would be positive. I was almost certain it would be yesterday afternoon when he came home with a note from his teacher saying, "Landon is THE smartest, sweetest little boy..." Nothing could prepare me for what I would hear that night though.
I knew that Landon had made HUGE progress in every area since starting school. The glimpse in to my son at school from his teacher made me beam with pride. Often I underestimate him because although he is a wild man, he is my quietest child. He is scoring above average on everything! She even said that they are seeing him gradually come out of his shell and volunteer to get up in front of his class and read. The little time we had with his teacher made for one proud Momma and Daddy.
I came home and told him all about our time with his teacher. I told him how proud of him I am. I made a comment to him about how on his report card it had "100!!" in the blank where is says how high the child can count. He said, "I could have counted to 200, but my teacher stopped me." I guess there is a little overachiever in all of us here in our household.
