Note to Self

Over the past few days, we have watched a few years worth of home videos.


I caught myself going deeper and deeper


in to thought the closer it got to September 2, 2008


the day Dan lost his job, which started the 22 very long months of unemployment.


As I watched us celebrate Collin's first birthday


exactly one month before getting the news,


I just wanted to whisper to the wife and mother I watched there on the TV screen.


I wanted to warn her of what was to come...prepare her in any way that I could.


I wanted to tell her that, yes, incredibly hard days were ahead


but also moments that she would look back and cherish


I wanted to tell her to enjoy the season a little more


laugh a little more


worry less


hope more


I wanted to tell her of the lessons she would learn, the friendships she would make, the person she would become


I wanted to hug her and whisper in her ear that it would all turn out okay


I wanted to tell her of all her Savior would do


how tender He would be to her


But, I really don't think the person that I was looking at would even listen


and so, as I watched the past few years of my life play out on our TV screen


I thought of what a lesson it is to the me right now


that God is the story teller


and even if at times I think


that there must be some mistake


or that I didn't sign up for this one


that His story is beautiful


and even though sometimes life causes unbearable hurt


He's refining and strengthening us for so much more