Taken Care Of

I made a mistake...a big mistake
A mistake that I didn't know I made
until I opened an envelope on Friday morning.
I know I paid that.
I just know I did.
But, when I went back and looked
I noticed it:
my big mistake.
I had paid the right amount
to the wrong bank
and it was our mortgage payment.
Yeah, kind of an important one.
I was frantic.
I made a phone call
hoping to get some answers as to where
my money had ended up
and when I could get it back.
I got no where.
I had sent the money to a closed account
and it would take five business days
for any answers.
I was in a state of panic.
Worry.
I hung up the phone
and started to cry.
I rarely cry in front of the kids
and they began to ask questions:
"Why are you crying?"
"What's wrong, Mommy?"
"Are you ok, Mama?"
Without going in to a lot of detail
I told my kids that
I had accidentally
sent some money to
the wrong people,
money that was supposed to pay for our house.
Maybe not the best wording
because my four year old
told me he was sorry I did that
and then asked if I had
sent our money to the "wobbers".
My Middle Man gave me several hugs
and my Princess reminded me that
it would be okay because
"at least you and Daddy both have jobs".
Melt my heart is what my kids did.
It was just the encouragement that I needed.
Pray.Pray.Pray. is what I did.
I wrestled all day
with the same worry
the same doubt
talking to God about it all...
asking Him to take care of it...
asking Him to help me
give up these feelings
of worry and control.
I even asked Him to
fix it all before the 5 days.
I would like to think
that after a whole 22 months
of waiting, of seeing God provide,
of leaning on Him
that I have gotten better
but my initial reaction
still needs some work.
I walked the halls at work that Friday night
with a peace
thanking Him for what He was going to do
not knowing that
He had already done it.
My Father had already fixed it
before I even knew I made the mistake.
That night, my husband emailed me
at work
to tell me
that we had the refund check sitting
in our mailbox
and once again
I laughed at my God
smiled about how good He is to me
and confessed my unbelief
to my Father who cares
so tenderly for me.