This marks the end of an era. She came to me tonight and said that she knows that there is no Santa, no Easter Bunny, and (gasp) no Tooth Fairy. I must say, I am totally relieved.
I grew up believing in Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy...and I have to add that I didn't resent my parents, didn't doubt Jesus was real, and wasn't at all disappointed. So, when it came to raising our kids, our personal preference was to do the whole Santa thing...and whole heartedly believe that it doesn't scar children. It's a choice.
Never did I think that she would go on believing in Santa until the age of seven and a half. I was kinda thinking it would be a quick couple of years and then would come the big question and we'd be done.
My husband has been taking time to talk with Kaitlyn about deeper spiritual things. She wants to be baptized and wants to learn more. So, I guess this came up in a talk they had...the whole Santa thing.
She came to me tonight before bed and blurted out, "I know that there's no Santa. That it's you and Daddy." I smiled and acted surprised...just joking with her. I asked her if she was disappointed that there's no Santa and no Tooth Fairy. She laughed and replied, "Nope, because I still like getting gifts from you guys." It's all good.
Santa and the Tooth Fairy are no more...the Easter Bunny...well, I still have nightmarish visions of him coming to our front door when I was little...he's real, and he's scary.
He's the only one home with me. He's the youngest. He's enjoying his
time at home before he's off to kindergarten in the fall. I wish I
would have had a year with each of my kids alone like this.
There's never a dull moment with this one. His world is one of
amazement at the little things, an imagination gone completely wild,
and sweet talking like no one else. One day with him and you will
laugh more, smile more, stand in awe at things that you never have
before, and truly feel like you have lost your mind.
Today was no exception. My littlest man loves to pretend...and most
of all, he loves to play Polly Pocket's. I think it started out as an
obsession only because he could only play when his big sister was away
and it was to be our little secret. Now, he doesn't care...and she
loves that he will sit and play with her. So, after our usual play in
Polly World it was time to move on and play something else.
He was, of course, a prince...and I was some sort of maid or
something. He had a horse and was riding it around. He jumped off of
the horse to come in for some lemonade and juice (bowling pins) and
then announced that he was off to the zoo. I told him that he had
better ride his pony to the zoo. He looked at me, as serious as ever,
and said that he was actually going to ride his pink bunny to the
zoo...and away he hopped, sitting on a giant, stuffed pink bunny.
I called him on his cell minutes later to ask if I was supposed to
feed his horse while he was gone. I expected him to answer with a
simple yes...but I should know by now that nothing is ever simple with
my littlest man. He said, "Oh no, I forgot that I have the bag of
food in my pocket," and so he had to hop back home...with instructions
that I should not feed it all to her at one time. Minutes later, he
was back...and apparently he had gotten his PhD while away. He
instructed me to sit down and got out his stethoscope. "Beep, beep,
beep, beep," He said. "I hear your heart beeping." I asked if he
thought I was going to be okay. "It's beeping so fast. I think you
are going to die soon," and then he was off doing the dishes and
making us a grand meal...his being made up of mostly cookies and mine
being mostly veggies.
A day in the life. I just want to freeze him four forever.
Once again I find myself staring at my neglected blog, remembering the days where any little thing, any bit of news or happening, found it's way to this page. I'm gonna try harder, I really am.
Around the middle of January, we had a bit of a scare here. The thought of going through another unemployment had me in a state of panic. It was during that time though that I realized how comfortable I have gotten in where we are...how much less I pray...how much less I come to Him with things unless they are urgent...unless they are far beyond what I can handle. I could really kick myself...give myself a stern talking to. God is so very patient with me. Once again, I confess my unbelief and stand in awe of how he works everything out (beyond anything I could have imagined). Dan worked a few short weeks that we are still trying to catch up on, but he still has a job and we are thankful. Most of all, I am thankful for the reminder of what He has brought us through and for the reminder that I still need to be face down beside my bed talking to Him, walking the halls at work talking to Him, and ever mindful of how He has promised to never leave or forsake.
I have my sights set on running a half marathon on my 30th (yes, the big 3-0 is coming up for me this year!) birthday. I had a bit of a scare the past couple of weeks and finally found my way to the doctor last Wednesday. I am thankful that all of the testing has come back good so far. I had to cut back my running all last week and got a taste of what life would be without my love...it left me praying that I would never have to live a run-less life. I haven't had another episode in the past week and I am hoping that whatever it was won't return. After the half on my birthday, I have my sights set on another full in May...crossing my fingers that everything works out.
My parents were able to come for a visit this past weekend. It was just what I needed. My Mom took me away for a pedicure. My feet enjoyed the TLC. My Dad took Dan and the boys to see Star Wars in 3D. While they were away, my Mom treated my Princess to a day out to where ever she chose. Kait gave it some thought and told her that she wanted to head to Barnes & Noble and then out for shakes...so that's what we did. We finished up a great day by having a taco party. The time always seems too short and I am always left waving good bye at the front door, puzzled, wondering where the time went. I usually walk around for a few days after, feeling like someone has sucker punched me in the gut and knocked the wind out of me. It's heartbreak everytime I have to say goodbye to my family...and you would think I would be used to it by now. I guess after ten years of goodbyes to someone (Dan or my family) it wears on my heart.
February 15th, marked the ten year anniversary of me flying out on a whim to visit Dan for the first time. I honestly can't believe that it's been ten years. I was thinking about that the other day...the ups and downs, all we've been through, and how we continue to grow. These past six weeks, especially, have been the most amazing. It's been hard work, on both of our parts, but the rewards are great. I sat in church on Sunday, at the end of the service in a time of prayer, his arm around me, rubbing my shoulder...I have never been more grateful for this man. He has stepped up...and surprised me, his biggest critic at times. We are learning right along side of eachother. I was talking to someone the other day about marriage and how it's the hardest work I have ever done in my life...not a cake walk, my friends...I said that we are almost nine years in to it and it's just in the last couple of weeks that I truly feel that we are beginning to "get it". It has to do with a lot of factors in our lives and we have in no way "arrived", but we are in a wonderful place right now and I feel blessed to be able to sit beside him in church and thank God for this man he has raised up to lead me and the kids.
So, with all of that seriousness out of the way, I hope to keep this thing up...
