Around My Neck

Today marks five years since my miscarriage
I went to bed on November 4th, 2006 pregnant
and not even twelve hours later I was dealing with
loss

I dealt with a lot of sadness and guilt after
Days of feeling numb
and days where I felt as if
I had no more tears left to cry

Shortly after, I had a dream
She was there
She was beautiful
blond
chubby
round face
and blue eyes
she looked just like Landon
and I knew her
I named her Madelyn
meaning magnificent
and believe God knew just what I needed
to heal

Five years later, I still think about her.
I look around and wonder
I sometimes feel like something is missing
and occasionally Kaitlyn will talk about her

I wanted to do something special to remember
on this five year anniversary
and when I saw it
I knew

It's a nest with three eggs
three eggs for my three gifts here on earth
hanging beside it
is July's birthstone
for my precious gift in heaven