Saturday, November 8, 2008

Clear

We are coming up on week 10 of this whole unemployed thing. The past couple days have been not so good ones.

Work has been something close to awful. The beginning of my work day yesterday was no exception. I will list them out:

  • found out that third shift supervisor that treated us like dirt a few nights before was scheduled
  • spilled 4 gallons of white paint all over the floor
  • looked at my schedule to see that Thanksgiving week, I was scheduled for 47 hrs in one week
  • found out that I was working Thanksgiving
  • overheard that everyone that I was working with decided they weren't coming back after lunch except for this other guy and myself (which is a regular occurrence).

So, Dan arrived to pick me up for my hour lunch break and I fell apart right there in the car. The words, "I don't think I can do this anymore" came out of my mouth. But, I knew that it wasn't possible to quit. First, I am not a quitter...it can be my biggest fault. Second, that would make us about $600 short every month in our budget. Ouch! So, I am basically stuck. Maybe that's why I feel pinned up against a wall most days.

I tried to forget about my impending doom while having a fun time with the family on my lunch break. The kids always seem to cheer me up and Dan had whipped up some guac as a special surprise for me. But, time flies when you are having fun and it was time to head back.

I got in the car and immediately began to talk to my God who is bigger than the list mentioned above. I told Him how I wanted to quit so bad but I needed to know what He wanted me to do. I told Him that I would follow whatever, wherever, but I just needed Him to make it ever so clear.

I wiped the tears from my eyes, got out of the car, and walked back into work. I punched in, took a deep breath, and whispered, "three more hours." An assistant manager walked up behind me and asked, "Are you ready to change your schedule?" Of course I was all over that. He said that after looking it over, the head honchos had agreed to give me Saturday off. I explained that I appreciated it but that still leaves me with an extra day. He said, "Well, what other day do you want off?" It was my chance. "Could I have Thanksgiving Day?" to which he said, "Sure." So, three and four was taken care of. I walked back to start work again after thanking him two or three times and found everyone came back but one guy. Check five off the list. Then, the third shift super didn't utter one word to me the whole night. I think I got my answer. I am relieved. I would like to be out of there, but I am where God wants me for now.

I lift up my eyes to the hills - where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip - he who watches over you will not slumber. ~Psalm 121:1-3

1 things to add:

Christy said...

Oh Beth, I'm so sorry that your job stinks right now :( Hugs...this too shall pass!