I am weary with crying out; my throat is parched. My eyes have failed, looking for my God. ~Psalms 69:3
Contrary to what others may think, this blog rarely contains my inner most thoughts. It's only a snapshot of my life...a tiny piece of my puzzle. We all have our days. I am learning quite well through this road we are walking that we all can't imagine what someone's life is like, what it's like to walk in their shoes. It's not even about, "You don't know until you've been there" anymore. It's more like, "You don't know because you are not so and so". We are all human. We are all judgemental to some degree. I have become less through this.
Well, Psalms 69:3 sums up the past few days for me. We are one day from three months...halfway through our unemployment...the sand in the hour glass seems to be moving so very quickly now. Every week it's something new. Our lives have been turned upside down. God is showing me that nothing should bring me comfort but HIM. Basically, everything has changed right down to our life insurance policy. :-) I asked Dan last night, "Do you ever look around and ask yourself 'is this really my life?'" I actually feel like sometimes I am living someone else's life.
Psalms 69 has been a comfort to me:
1Save me, O God; for the waters are come in unto my soul.
2I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing: I am come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me.
3I am weary of my crying: my throat is dried: mine eyes fail while I wait for my God.
4They that hate me without a cause are more than the hairs of mine head: they that would destroy me, being mine enemies wrongfully, are mighty: then I restored that which I took not away.
5O God, thou knowest my foolishness; and my sins are not hid from thee.
6Let not them that wait on thee, O Lord GOD of hosts, be ashamed for my sake: let not those that seek thee be confounded for my sake, O God of Israel.
7Because for thy sake I have borne reproach; shame hath covered my face.
8I am become a stranger unto my brethren, and an alien unto my mother's children.
9For the zeal of thine house hath eaten me up; and the reproaches of them that reproached thee are fallen upon me.
10When I wept, and chastened my soul with fasting, that was to my reproach.
11I made sackcloth also my garment; and I became a proverb to them.
12They that sit in the gate speak against me; and I was the song of the drunkards.
13But as for me, my prayer is unto thee, O LORD, in an acceptable time: O God, in the multitude of thy mercy hear me, in the truth of thy salvation.
14Deliver me out of the mire, and let me not sink: let me be delivered from them that hate me, and out of the deep waters.
15Let not the waterflood overflow me, neither let the deep swallow me up, and let not the pit shut her mouth upon me.
16Hear me, O LORD; for thy lovingkindness is good: turn unto me according to the multitude of thy tender mercies.
17And hide not thy face from thy servant; for I am in trouble: hear me speedily.
18Draw nigh unto my soul, and redeem it: deliver me because of mine enemies.
19Thou hast known my reproach, and my shame, and my dishonour: mine adversaries are all before thee.
20Reproach hath broken my heart; and I am full of heaviness: and I looked for some to take pity, but there was none; and for comforters, but I found none.
21They gave me also gall for my meat; and in my thirst they gave me vinegar to drink.
22Let their table become a snare before them: and that which should have been for their welfare, let it become a trap.
23Let their eyes be darkened, that they see not; and make their loins continually to shake.
24Pour out thine indignation upon them, and let thy wrathful anger take hold of them.
25Let their habitation be desolate; and let none dwell in their tents.
26For they persecute him whom thou hast smitten; and they talk to the grief of those whom thou hast wounded.
27Add iniquity unto their iniquity: and let them not come into thy righteousness.
28Let them be blotted out of the book of the living, and not be written with the righteous.
29But I am poor and sorrowful: let thy salvation, O God, set me up on high.
30I will praise the name of God with a song, and will magnify him with thanksgiving.
31This also shall please the LORD better than an ox or bullock that hath horns and hoofs.
32The humble shall see this, and be glad: and your heart shall live that seek God.
33For the LORD heareth the poor, and despiseth not his prisoners.
34Let the heaven and earth praise him, the seas, and every thing that moveth therein.
35For God will save Zion, and will build the cities of Judah: that they may dwell there, and have it in possession.
36The seed also of his servants shall inherit it: and they that love his name shall dwell therein.
With Thanksgiving coming up, I have more to be thankful for than ever before...or rather I realize now, just how much I have.
First and foremost, I am thankful for everything God has been and is to us. He is my COMFORT, my PROVISION, my SHELTER, just to name a few that are so evident to me right now. As Hollie sang on Sunday, HE is the maker of beautiful things.
A taste of the rest: HUSBAND, MY CHILDREN, FAMILY, FRIENDS, MY HOME, BILLS THAT ARE PAID, FOOD IN OUR CUPBOARDS, A BODY THAT IS ABLE TO RUN, SUNNY DAYS, FULL CLOSETS, LAUGHTER, HUGS, BEING MADE NEW, THE LEARNING, NEEDS THAT ARE MET, EACH NEW DAY