I often have moments that make me think about moments that I have tried to freeze in my head. I had one of those moments recently.
I have memory boxes for each of my kids. When one gets filled, we move on to filling another. I pulled them down the other day and Kaitlyn and Landon wanted to go through them. Talk about taken back.
Too many times in my life, I can't wait to get to the next thing. When I was little, I couldn't wait to be older, to be able to drive. When I was in Jr. High, I couldn't wait to become a highschooler. In highschool, I couldn't wait to get out of there. I couldn't wait to get married. I couldn't wait to be done with college and be working a job. While working a job, I couldn't wait until would be able to stay home and take care of kids. Time flies by a lot faster looking back on things. :)
While pregnant with my little princess, my first born, I couldn't wait to have her out to hold and love on. That was actually in a lot of the letters that I had written to her while pregnant with her. Once she was out, I couldn't wait until she would be able to sit up, to stand, to walk, to play on her own. She had colic and I truly believe she was too brilliant and bored very often...we had a rough first few months.
She will be five in May. I take her next week to register her for kindergarten and I think I am going to have tears in my eyes when I go for that. I know, I know, I am in big trouble if I am already getting teary eyed. I just can't believe how fast the time has flown and through a good portion, I have wished it away. Sometimes I sit and watch her play and think to myself, "Freeze this. Freeze this in your mind, remember this, you will never get this moment back." I want to freeze her. I want to freeze her at the little 38 pound 4 year old that she is. I know this is just the beginning...the beginning of our journey of little by little letting her go.
Dear Lord, what blessings you have given to me. What gifts you have given me in my children! I pray that you would help me to no longer wish these moments away. Help me to soak this all in and to remember that each new day with them is from above. Thank you so much for the little girl you have entrusted us with. She is such a joy! I pray that you would help me to continue to mother Kaitlyn's precious heart. Guide and protect her. I pray that she would forever follow you. Do great things through her.