My Ocean

Dear Lord,

I come before you thankful.

You have provided, even when I have doubted.

You have carried us much farther than we could have ever walked ourselves.

You have taught us more in these past nine months about loving, supporting, encouraging, trusting, giving that we have learned in our entire lives.

You have given us a better marriage, a better friendship, a better family.

Father, forgive me for all of the times this past week that I have doubted...that I have let myself slip back down and believe that there is no hope for us.

Forgive me for doubting your perfect plan...for being angry with You...for the jealousy I have had when it seems like everything is going right for everyone else but us.

I am sorry for my unbelief and lack of faith in all you have done and continue to do for us.

Lord, with you, anything is possible and you take even the darkest most discouraging circumstances and work them together for Your good.

You tell us to approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need (Hebrews 4:16).

I am asking that you provide Dan with this job. We want to do great things for You.

I thank you for allowing us to walk this road.

It's been harder than I have ever imagined...unbearable at times.

I have cried out, cried myself to sleep at night, but I thank you that you have seen every tear that I have cried and heard every cry for help.

I have never been a quitter...especially when I know I can win or at least finish.

This is something that has no end in sight.

I don't feel like finishing any more.

I just want to lay down...I just want to lay down.

I am tired, so tired of fighting...so tired of trying to stay positive, stay focused.

Please help me find my rest in You.

Help me to, everyday, give You the fight.

Thank you for loving me enough, us enough, to mold us into what you want us to be.

Let us only give you glory for it.

Amen.

Best Thing

Tonight while putting my daughter to bed:

Me : Okay Kate, what do you want a lullaby about?

Kaitlyn : What's the best thing that has ever happened to me?

Me: It's when you asked accepted Jesus as your Savior

Kaitlyn : Okay, what's the second best thing that has ever happened?

Me: Humm, how about going to Wiley's Hotel as a family for Daddy's birthday?

Kaitlyn : How about a third thing?

Me: Well, I don't know of a third thing.

Kaitlyn : We should get workin on a third thing then.

She settled on a lullaby about the second best thing that has ever happened to her in her short little life. I gave her sweet cuddles. She pulled my face close to hers and said:

"I know of the third best thing. It's when I got you and Daddy for my parents. I love you, Mommy."

It melted my heart...but wait a minute, we are number three...and a trip to a hotel is in front of us!!?? :-)

Good night, sweet girl.

Days like these...

It's days like these that I forget.

I forget that we are two months away.

I forget that life isn't as usual...as it was last summer.

I forget that my husband doesn't have a job.

We have had a wonderful two days. I have been off work. The weather has been beautiful. Grandma's pool has been loads of fun. It has felt like a mini vacation of sorts....carefree. I am thankful for these days...days that I can forget.

For a few summers now, we have been packing the kids up and heading over to grandma's pool. Summers were the best. The cold weather was over and that meant that work would pick up. I loved summers. I was a SAHM and life was carefree. This summer is different...unlike any summer I have ever had. It's hard to get used to...obviously, it's been a little over 9 months and I am still not used to it.

I could get used to days like these though....days that I forget.

Days that I forget what the dead of winter feels like.

Days that I forget that my babies are getting older.

Days that I forget about nap time.

Days that I forget that m&m's and jellybeans are not part of a well balanced diet.

Days that I forget that there are bills to be paid.

Days that I forget the troubles of this world.

It's days like these that I hope I always remember.

Little Wonders

I watched Meet the Robinson's last night for the first time with the family. Loved it! Made me long even more for "B".

Held

A little wet...

I remember running and playing in the rain. Jumping on the trampoline in a down pour. Those are great memories. It felt like we were breaking the rules for some reason. That we were doing something we weren't supposed to do, but our parents were fine with it. I want those memories for my kids.

This afternoon, we could see a storm blowing in. It brought a lot of rain...a lot! Toward the end of it, I suggested that my kids go out and run in it. They acted shocked but were more than willing. My youngest was more unsure and I walked him out there. A few huge puddles had formed in our back yard. Perfect for jumping!

Another 10K

What a difference a year makes!

Last year, I was running my first ever race. This year, I ran my 3rd 10K and my 5th race.

I had a lot of excuses when I woke up this morning that I wanted to use:

• I worked last night


• I didn't get to bed until midnight


• I was up two times with the kids


• I have a blister on my right heel


• I am tired


• I would have rather been in bed


• I haven't run 6.2 miles in a while

Getting there was pretty much everything. Once I was there at the race, I was glad I got my butt out of bed. I wasn't too motivated at the beginning of the race, but once the gun went off and I ran the first mile, my determined side started to come out. I was gonna finish this race and I was going to beat my two previous times of 1:06 and 1:03...I was going to beat the cute little girl in the green shirt too. :-) And I did just that!

I thought about a lot in the hour that it was just me and Forrest (my ipod). I did a lot of praying, thinking, reflecting, and thanking my God for all he has blessed me with. I prayed for many of you reading and dedicated my miles to you.

Mile one was for Dan and that God would be right on time with a job for him. I prayed for his test coming up in two weeks. I asked for that job for him.

Mile two was thanking God for my parents and in-laws...my husband and I have been truly blessed by the parents that God has given us.

Mile three was for a little boy, B that I am praying is ours one day.

Mile four was for a few of my friends and I spent it praying for things going on in their lives.

Mile five was for my kids. I am blessed to have them!

Mile six was for the parents of Joey, Olivia, Gabriel...babies that have gone to heaven and are whole and happy.

The last quarter of a mile was for me...all me. I kicked it up a notch and felt all I had take me to the finish line.

My watch said 60.23. My official time was 1.01.001. I shaved 5 minutes off my time from last year on the same course. I was happy. The 10K is my favorite race.

Next 10K will be under 1 hour.

Giving

Sixty percent of the population is medically eligible to give, yet only 5% of the population donates.

What you ask?

Blood.

It's been almost a year since I got my tattoos. So, for almost twelve months I have been unable to give blood. I told the people at Lifesource to give me a call when I was eligible again. They are on top of things and called me on Tuesday.

This time, I am changing things up. I am going to go in and donate platelets...a process that takes no less than 1.5 hours. I was told to bring a movie or a book while I lay there. I think I will just shut my eyes and rest. It will be pretty neat for me...interesting. They will hook me up to a special machine that will extract the platelets from my blood and put the rest back. How cool is that?! In 48 hours, my body will have made up for what was taken out. Amazing.

Facts (sorry, I just had to...things that deal with the human body, blood especially, are just fascinating to me):


What are platelets?


Platelets are the cellular component that stops bleeding.


Who needs platelets?


Patients with cancer or leukemia, transplant patients and people with blood disorders, such as aplastic anemia, benefit from platelet transfusions. During chemotherapy and radiation treatment, both cancer cells and platelets are destroyed. Many of these patients need platelet transfusions to prevent uncontrolled bleeding.


Why donate platelets?


Your healthy platelets can help a patient whose body needs help preventing severe bleeding or bruising because his or her own platelets are weakened or destroyed.


Is it safe to donate?


The apheresis kit in the cell-separating machine is sterile and is discarded after each donation. It is impossible to get AIDS or any viral disease by donating platelets. Each donation is closely supervised by trained staff who observe the donor throughout the process. The donation does not significantly decrease the number of platelets in the donor’s body, and the donated platelets are quickly replaced. Donors experience no bleeding problems.


Platelet Donation Procedure


Platelet donations are made through a process called apheresis
(ay-fur-EE'- sis). Blood is drawn from the donor's arm and channeled through a sterile, disposable kit housed in a special cell-separating machine. The machine spins the blood to separate the platelets, then returns the red blood cells and plasma to the donor. The body can actually replace the amount of platelets donated in about 48 hours.

A wonderful time...

My Mom and all of her girls.

The cousins (all a year apart in age)

The boys on Poppy's tractor

Poppy and my sister's son.

My nana, my sisters, and me

My Papa and me

Landon cuddling with my Papa...they had a lot of fun together.

The boys playing blocks with my Nana

Aunt Amber letting the kids feel their new cousin coming next month!!

Wordless Wednesday (we're ready!)

Ninth Month Update: Stuck

I won't be here for the 2nd of June. Were will I be, you ask? MICHIGAN! Mom and Dad are footing the bill and we are outta here. The kids and I will be spending almost a week there and my sister and her kids and my sister-in-law will be meeting us out there. It's just what I need right now...a break from everything. So looking forward to it!!!

Yes, that time of the month is coming up once again. Another month gone by. Nine total months of unemployment. Nine total months of our name still being on the prayer list under those who are unemployed at church...while others come and go, we seem to be stuck there.

I have been nothing but open and honest throughout this whole thing and will continue to be. I. Am. Frustrated. (and I will leave it at that).

At the end of May, we will lose our health insurance. Something I thought would never happen...surely we would never make it to month nine. Here we are. We were able to get the kids put on the state health insurance but Dan and I are without. Makes me kinda nervous.

Continue to pray for us. It's been rough around here. Dan has his resume out there for a couple of carpenter jobs...we are hoping something pops up SOON (if anyone in the area hears of anyone hiring carpenters, please let us know). It would be nice if things were picking up like they say. He is also testing for a department the third Saturday in June and I am very hopeful.

Still. Waiting.

Birthday Outing : Princess Style (because that's how she rolls)...

Grandma and Grandpa took Kaitlyn out for her birthday yesterday. She was so excited. She had to look her best. She picked out her dress. A princess can never leave the house without her crown. Packed her purse complete with a fairy wand. And topped it all off with her favorite boa. She was ready! What she did in her ensemble was far from "princess like"...she was a tad bit over dressed. :-) She had a blast and told us all about it when she came home. She was pretty excited that they prayed that God would keep it from raining, "and He answered our prayers!"

Last night, before going to bed, she said that this was the best birthday she has ever had. It made my heart smile.