...still no job.
Bummer, another month gone by. It's April and my husband lost his job back in September. It's been a long road, a lot of learning, and many chances for growth. I am finding out what I am made of.
Yet another month of provisions to report. God is so good! I have had many opportunities to pick up extra hours at the hospital this month, all of which I jumped at. Just yesterday I was told by the lab supervisor that a part time position is being created for me in May. I will be banking paid time off and also have the option of a few benefits!! We have had money given to us along with a lot of food. What a blessing.
This month has been the best month for me as far as giving things over to God and not worrying about them. Part of it might be because of the busyness and not having the time to sit around and worry. I would like to hope, however, that I am finally to the point where I am fully trusting the goodness of God.
First let me say that we are not financial experts and we still slip up and buy things that we don't need or make unwise choices with the money God has given us. I guess when Dan first lost his job, we started thinking of money in a different light mostly because it was all given to us by other people. When you have done nothing to earn it, it's hard to justify spending it on a meal out or something you think you deserve. But, what I started to really get is that none of it was ever ours to begin with...even the stuff we "earned". When thinking of it that way, it's so much easier to make smart decisions, give to others in need, or deny ourselves. I think that my generation, at least, has an attitude of entitlement. I certainly did (and find myself still doing). We are entitled to that big house, we are entitled to have nice cars, we are entitled to the meals out, to the stuff. We are running up our credit cards on stuff we can't afford and are behind on our bills, but at least we have the latest jeans in our closet, a big beautiful house, nice cars to drive, and everything looks nice on the outside. I needed my slap in the face, my wake up call and I got it 7 months ago. Not that we had gotten to an extreme, but that's where we were headed. I was incredibly materialistic.
So, fast forward 7 months to today. It has been painful, not too fun, and incredibly hard. My God knows what he is doing. My God and me have had many arguments. I have doubted Him several times. I still find myself face down on the itchy carpet beside my bed some days (Tuesday being one of them). But, we have never been delinquent on one bill, we are not living "paycheck" to paycheck, our stomachs are full, we are closer to living debt free, and drumroll please :
Thank you everyone for praying for us. Continue to pray that God would provide a job for Dan.
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of him.