Sunday, June 14, 2009

My Ocean

Dear Lord,

I come before you thankful.

You have provided, even when I have doubted.

You have carried us much farther than we could have ever walked ourselves.

You have taught us more in these past nine months about loving, supporting, encouraging, trusting, giving that we have learned in our entire lives.

You have given us a better marriage, a better friendship, a better family.

Father, forgive me for all of the times this past week that I have doubted...that I have let myself slip back down and believe that there is no hope for us.

Forgive me for doubting your perfect plan...for being angry with You...for the jealousy I have had when it seems like everything is going right for everyone else but us.

I am sorry for my unbelief and lack of faith in all you have done and continue to do for us.

Lord, with you, anything is possible and you take even the darkest most discouraging circumstances and work them together for Your good.

You tell us to approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need (Hebrews 4:16).

I am asking that you provide Dan with this job. We want to do great things for You.

I thank you for allowing us to walk this road.

It's been harder than I have ever imagined...unbearable at times.

I have cried out, cried myself to sleep at night, but I thank you that you have seen every tear that I have cried and heard every cry for help.

I have never been a quitter...especially when I know I can win or at least finish.

This is something that has no end in sight.

I don't feel like finishing any more.

I just want to lay down...I just want to lay down.

I am tired, so tired of tired of trying to stay positive, stay focused.

Please help me find my rest in You.

Help me to, everyday, give You the fight.

Thank you for loving me enough, us enough, to mold us into what you want us to be.

Let us only give you glory for it.


2 things to add:

Brittany said...

Beth just so you guys know I am praying like CRAZY for you!!! I REALLY hope that you guys get this!!

Kimmie said...

Hi Beth;

I am sure this post and your cry, is beautiful in the Father (our Father's) ears.

Sending a hug and knowing God will provide. The Word tells us that never does He allow those who follow Him (faithfully) to be out begging bread. As you pray, call Him Jehovah Jireh (it is His *Provider* name)...

praying and sending you a big hug. Wish you lived closer, so you could come over for an afternoon visit. ;-)

mama to 7
one homemade and 6 adopted