And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
It was 1 AM on October 27th. I was working at Walmart and had just completed my shift. I was exhausted from hardly any sleep the night before and a 10K race follow by work on the 26th. I had that foggy feeling in my head as I headed to the van. I sat there for a minute to let the van warm up. Put it in reverse, backed up, and then put it in drive. The rest is history. I don't remember much except for wondering why all of a sudden I was pushing the gas and the van wouldn't go anywhere...and the smoke. Where was all the smoke coming from?
Well, I had hit a light pole...you know, the ones that are buried in the concrete cylinder...in the parking lot of Walmart. The light is still leaning a bit to this day...I feel a sense of pride whenever I see it. I totalled the van...totalled it. My husband was jobless and I crashed the only vehicle that I was able to drive (his car is a stick shift).
The story gets better. I wasn't all there and my cell was dead. So, I had the bright idea of running home to let Dan know I had done. It was the fastest mile I had done in a while. I got home and knocked on the door. My husband informed me that I had just left the scene of an accident...I guess you aren't supposed to do that kind of thing. It was a wild night, like I said, most of it was a blur. But, one thing I do remember is how Dan made me feel. He wasn't upset with me at all. His display of love and acceptance was amazing that night. He made me feel safe.
Crashing the van was a blessing in disguise. I questioned why this, why now. God works everything for good. It was a car payment we couldn't afford...a money pit with problems. The six months we went without a second car and crammed (all 5 of us) in Dan's Aveo taught me to be thankful for what we have and that we can do without a lot...more than we think. It also was an eye opener as far as taking out loans for vehicles goes. It forced me to do something I never thought possible, I learned to drive a stick. God is so good and six months later, after saving, saving, saving, we paid cash for a van.
So, today is a reminder. Sometimes we don't understand...and maybe we never will. But, God's ways are higher than our ways. I think I just might take a drive and lay a wreath by the light post in memory of good old Bessie and an accident that I will never live down or hear the end of it. I am able to laugh at myself and chuckle when I think of the kids, months after, telling me to be careful and not crash the only car we had at the time...like I was a bad driver or something.