Dishwasher

Note to self:

In the future, when the dishwasher is loaded so full that you have to lean into the door to get it to latch, TAKE A FEW DISHES OUT!

Tonight, I wanted to make the most of what's left of my dishwasher detergent. :-) So, I loaded everything I could fit into it and then some. Well, I went back into the kitchen for something about 20 minutes later and there was water all over the floor. I began to freak out because it had slipped my mind just how I had to get the door to latch. I cleaned up the water and because I was already on my knees, I began to pray: "Lord, please, I just don't think I can handle another thing right now. I actually think I will snap. There is no way we can afford to fix it and I just don't know how I will do all of these dishes by hand (now I am chuckling to myself about how stupid and spoiled I am)." I think I actually heard God tell me to get up off of my knees and unlatch the door. Then proceeded to tell me not to try to make things fit where there was no room for them anyway...great lesson, and all because I loaded the dishwasher too full.

Sleep tight.

It's Monday

It's easy to slip back into the mind set of worrying about our situation. I was having a bit of anxiety about what this week will hold for us this morning. The bills that are sitting in our "bills to be paid" rack for next week catch my eye every time I walk from the living room to the kitchen. I had to keep reminding myself that I need to trust that God would provide for the needs of our family in the coming week just as he did for this past week. This verse kept popping into my head:

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. ~ Matthew 6:34

Once all of my kids crashed at nap time, I got out my Bible and read through Matthew 6 again. At the bottom of the page I found these:

Seven Reasons Not to Worry

• The same God who created life in you can be trusted with the details of you life.
• Worrying about the future hampers your efforts for today
• Worrying in more harmful than helpful
• God does not ignore those who depend on Him
• Worry shows lack of faith and understanding of God
• There are real challenges God wants us to pursue and worrying keeps us from them
• Living one day at a time keeps us from being consumed by worry

Anyway...

If you're wondering what some specific prayer requests are here's a few:

• Dan's job hunting would turn up real leads and/or results.
• God would give us the wisdom that we lack and wouldn't jump into anything out of desperation.
• If I am supposed to get a job, that I would hear something this week from the apps that I turned in.
• God would give us some clear direction in what Dan should be doing as far as work.
• God would provide the money we need for the "bills to be paid".
• That our marriage would be strengthened during this time.
• That our kids wouldn't feel the stress that we are under and wouldn't be affected in any way.

I am trusting God that this is going to be a good week and I am looking forward to being able to share.

Blessings of Today

We made it through another day...

- I sold the toddler bed I had listed on craigslist! Just praying that my other stuff stops taking up space in our home soon.

- I was in need of some feminine products and emailed a friend on a whim. What do you know, she had a stash. She came bearing more than just pads today. It was incredible how God used her. I had to smile when I was going through everything because in there I found (among other things)the exact brand of pads I use, the exact deodorant I use, deodorant for my husband who has gone without for a day or two, and soap for my kiddos. My walmart gift card has been spared! Thanks Becki!

- I had a coupon to a local grocery store for milk. The sale price was $1.98 but that was with a $10 purchase. I really want to avoid all stores right now. It makes my stomach hurt to even think about going in there...big change for me, I know. I played around with the idea of going before nap but I didn't know when the people were coming to pick up the toddler bed. They came close to nap time so I just decided I would go after. We were walking to get the mail when I thought I saw a friend's car pulling up. I figured they had a L&F meeting. I said hi and they proceeded to tell me that they had some goodies for us. Guess what was among everything but a gallon of milk! Thank you Scott and Jori for not only driving out to Harvard, but for proving God to be faithful once again!

Today, during nap time, I got an urge to scrap what I was going to do during my quiet time and instead turn to Matthew 6: 24 - 7:15. I have read that countless times and also heard at least two sermons that I can remember on them. Today it was as if I was reading it for the first time. I am going to start reading that every day as a reminder.

Over the past two days, we have been blessed by people who could have benefited themselves by what they chose to give to us. Everytime I have been blown away by their sacrificial giving. I have seen God show up once again today. Blessed be the name of the Lord! God is good!

Count Your Many Blessings...

When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,

When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,

Count your many blessings, name them one by one,

And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Refrain

Count your blessings, name them one by one,

Count your blessings, see what God hath done!

Count your blessings, name them one by one,

And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?

Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?

Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,

And you will keep singing as the days go by.

Refrain

When you look at others with their lands and gold,

Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;

Count your many blessings. Wealth can never buy

Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.

Refrain

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,

Do not be disheartened, God is over all;

Count your many blessings, angels will attend,

Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

I have never really closely looked at the words of this hymn nor have I understood the time of life they are talking about so fully as I do now.

During this hard season of my life, I don't want to waste a thing. I don't want to walk away not learning anything or forget along the way after this storm has blown over what God did for us back in 2008 when Dan was laid off. So, I have decided that I am going to start "naming them one by one" to show God's faithfulness not only to you guys out there but so that we can look back and see the exact day that God sent another person our way to help us get by. More to share at the end of the day...

Pray for the Stanfields!

I haven't been around to check my usual bloggers with everything going on. I couldn't sleep past 4:45 this morning and so, to pass the time, I thought I would check in with a few.

This name might sound familiar to some. You might even check in on her (them) yourself. Please pray for Kenzie right now. She is 26 weeks pregnant and in premature labor with their daughter, Faith. She lost her son Maddox to trisomy 18 at the beginning of the year. Pray that God would keep this baby girl safe!

Blessed Be the Name of the Lord!

First, I just want to tell all of you how thankful we are for your prayers! It has felt kinda lonely at times over the past few days but with the emails, calls, and visits, it's made things easier. It's been really comforting knowing that we are being prayed for by so many.

Yesterday, I was alone praying. I told God that I knew He was right here with us. I knew that everything was in His hands but I needed Him to actually show me that we were going to be taken care of. Now, I know that God owes me nothing. It's just enough to know that He sent his son to die for me so that I could live forever with Him. But, I know that I can talk to Him just as I would my own Father. I can tell Him my frustrations. I can come to Him with my fears. I can let Him know my disappointments. So, I poured it all out to Him. I have not been angry with Him. If anything, I have started to have a sense of thankfulness for what we are going through. When Dan first told me the news, I went into panic mode. The next day however, I kept reminding myself and telling God that I wanted to learn from this and I know that's what He wants me to do too on so many different levels. If I get nothing out of this, I would be a failure. I want to come out of this testing stronger and wiser than before. This is sifting time. It hurts like heck but hopefully I will look back and see the bigger picture when it's all over.

Back to needing God to show me...

I was looking at numbers. I was doubting big time and I told God that. I didn't know how we were going to make it past this week. I cried out to Him for help and for Him to prove his faithfulness. So, let me tell you what my day was like today...

My dear neighbor and best friend came over before work and blessed us with a gift card! I went out job hunting and turned in five apps to places that were hiring and seem very promising. I got home and my husband's mom was at my house. I thought she had just stopped in for a visit and to see how we were but later found out that she had slipped a check in my husbands pocket! Ten minutes later, an angel from The Place Beneath (aka super shopper Saralyn :-) ) showed up with groceries! Tonight a mysterious package came...Mrs. Fields cookies with an encouraging note from "us"(thank you to whoever you are!). Today has been a good day. I tell you all of this only to testify to the faithfulness of my Father. I feel like it's just what I needed to feel like we are going to be okay. Just like my Father-in-law said to me today, God is never early, never late, but always right on time. We may not be able to take care of everything by ourselves right now, which is very hard for me to accept, but what we can't take care of, God is sending people to gather around us. It's overwhelming! Dan and I were actually able to relax and bit and smile and laugh together.

Smile

I had taken these pictures on Tuesday and had totally forgotten they were on my camera because the day took a turn for the worse. I took some pics of stuff I am selling (anyone interested in a Graco DuoGlider, Graco Highchair, sleigh toddler bed, sofa sectional, hummm, let's see what else...) and loaded them on the computer and the one of Collin was the first to pop up.

Thank you, God, for my kids. They make me smile when I feel like there is nothing to smile about.

On Day at a Time

If I let it, my mind can wander into so many different scenarios. This has probably been the darkest time in my life. I have been up since 2:45...it's what my body tends to do under stress. So, it was then that all of the what if's popped into my head again. I looked over and was thankful that at least Dan was able to sleep so I left him alone to get his rest.

I told myself that I guess I just have to take this one day at a time. If I can help it, I don't want to even go into all the different terrible situations we might find ourselves. So, today...

...today my sister-in-law paid me a visit. It was a nice distraction and took my mind off of what's really going on.

...today my kids are healthy and taken care of.

...today we have electricity...a TV to watch, a couch to sit on, toys to play with, a roof over our heads.

...today we have foods in our cupboards.

...today I got out of bed

Gulp...

I can't say we weren't warned that this might happen. Things were looking up and we breathed a sign of relief. I thanked God that he spared us yet again.

I have always wondered how this feels...what goes through ones mind when they get the news. I never wanted to know personally though.

Yesterday afternoon, I heard the dreaded words : "I got laid off today." I really didn't believe it and it took a bit to sink in to what that really meant. It means basically that we are in trouble. It means that I am having a really hard time. It means that I am wondering how we are going to make it. It means that I am looking at God crying, "uncle, I give, I learned my lesson...please just make it all better." It means that we have a good two weeks until the money is gone. It means that I feel like a failure.

So, if you are reading this, please pray for us. I have never doubted that God would give us what we need, but it's a different story now that we have no income. I am worried, I am sad, I am doubting. I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under us.

Dan is going to the unemployment office today and then going around looking for work. Me, well, I would just sit here and cry, but I know that would be terrible for the kids to see. We prayed for Daddy at dinner yesterday, Kaitlyn and Landon taking turns praying that Daddy would get another job. Kaitlyn has offered us the $15 she has in her wallet. :-) We were outside and one of the first things she said to Miss Hollie was, "My Daddy doesn't have a job." Hollie told her how God would take care of us and also said that we could move in with them. Kylee then came outside and Kaitlyn said, "My Daddy doesn't have a job. We're going to move in with you!" If you could have only seen Kylee's face and how big her eyes got. Priceless!

Laborious

Just pretend this is still labor day. :-) It seems more cleaver that way. Found this over at Becki's blog and thought it would be fun to play along...

How long were your labors?

#1 ~ about 14 hours
#2 ~ about 5 hours
#3 ~ about 3 hours

How did you know you were in labor?

#1 ~ took the castor oil and waited until the cramping started
#2 ~ took the castor oil and waited for that familiar cramping
#3 ~ I think I was in labor for two weeks with this kid. Every night, I thought I was in labor but I would just go to sleep and figured I would wake up if it was the real thing. Well, I knew I was in labor when I couldn't lay down and pain was shooting up my back.

Where did you deliver?

All three were, thankfully, at the hospital

Drugs?

#1 ~ yes, I had an epidural that only worked on one side
#2 ~ nope, nothing
#3 ~ nope, nothing

Who delivered?

#1 ~ doctor
#2 ~ doctor
#3 ~ I went too quick. From the time I walked in the door until I had him was 37 minutes. The nurses had to deliver him...but I still had to pay the doctor's fee...go figure!

Hitched

I am such a sap...

I try to act tough...have I fooled anyone? I like people to think that I am a tough, athletic type that rarely cries and doesn't let anything break her. Well, I got news for ya, people. I cry at commercials, songs, blog posts, really anything. After finishing The CRIM, people were walking around laughing, eating their bananas and apples, being merry...me, well, I was sitting on the curb with my running buddy with tears rolling down my face listening to a song on her MP3. I am such a sap!

This Saturday, my little (6 ft something actually) brother is getting married. I can't help but get a tad bit emotional when I think of it.

I think back to the day I married my man. We have grown and changed so much together. We didn't really know eachother at all and I love him more today that I ever have. (Just to warn you Dan, I will probably be crying while we walk down the aisle together this weekend...just lead me to where I need to go.)

I think of how this is the last of my siblings to get married. I guess that means that we are all grown ups now. Does that mean that there can be no more games of Risk involving name calling?

I think what an accomplishment it must be as a parent to have all of your grown children married. Does it feel like your work is done...party time? Is it a relief or somewhat sad?

My brother didn't have girlfriends in highschool, at least that I knew about. I always said that whoever he brought home would get a hard time from me and my sister. Afterall, just who is good enough for my brother? Well, I actually think he found the right one. From our first meeting, I didn't have one urge to give her a hard time or make her work for a spot in our family. :-)

To my brother: I am so very proud of you! If you have learned anything from Dad at all, I know you will make a great husband. She has come just in time, I don't think you could have survived one more month without a woman to take care of you and clean up after you. :-) Have fun together, love her, be patient with her, and make sure to laugh a lot together.

To my new sister: I welcome you with open arms, girl. Just in the short time I have known you, I have seen just how wonderful you are for my brother and how happy you make him. He is messy and unorganized but love makes is possible for you look past all of that. :-) I hope your special day is just what you want it to be. I hope you feel like a princess and take as much of it in as you can. Thanks for letting me stand up with you! I love you both.