First, I just want to tell all of you how thankful we are for your prayers! It has felt kinda lonely at times over the past few days but with the emails, calls, and visits, it's made things easier. It's been really comforting knowing that we are being prayed for by so many.
Yesterday, I was alone praying. I told God that I knew He was right here with us. I knew that everything was in His hands but I needed Him to actually show me that we were going to be taken care of. Now, I know that God owes me nothing. It's just enough to know that He sent his son to die for me so that I could live forever with Him. But, I know that I can talk to Him just as I would my own Father. I can tell Him my frustrations. I can come to Him with my fears. I can let Him know my disappointments. So, I poured it all out to Him. I have not been angry with Him. If anything, I have started to have a sense of thankfulness for what we are going through. When Dan first told me the news, I went into panic mode. The next day however, I kept reminding myself and telling God that I wanted to learn from this and I know that's what He wants me to do too on so many different levels. If I get nothing out of this, I would be a failure. I want to come out of this testing stronger and wiser than before. This is sifting time. It hurts like heck but hopefully I will look back and see the bigger picture when it's all over.
Back to needing God to show me...
I was looking at numbers. I was doubting big time and I told God that. I didn't know how we were going to make it past this week. I cried out to Him for help and for Him to prove his faithfulness. So, let me tell you what my day was like today...
My dear neighbor and best friend came over before work and blessed us with a gift card! I went out job hunting and turned in five apps to places that were hiring and seem very promising. I got home and my husband's mom was at my house. I thought she had just stopped in for a visit and to see how we were but later found out that she had slipped a check in my husbands pocket! Ten minutes later, an angel from The Place Beneath (aka super shopper Saralyn :-) ) showed up with groceries! Tonight a mysterious package came...Mrs. Fields cookies with an encouraging note from "us"(thank you to whoever you are!). Today has been a good day. I tell you all of this only to testify to the faithfulness of my Father. I feel like it's just what I needed to feel like we are going to be okay. Just like my Father-in-law said to me today, God is never early, never late, but always right on time. We may not be able to take care of everything by ourselves right now, which is very hard for me to accept, but what we can't take care of, God is sending people to gather around us. It's overwhelming! Dan and I were actually able to relax and bit and smile and laugh together.
Rollin' Out
10 years ago
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