Free Date Night!

Quick! Find a Redbox for free movie Monday's! Here's the code per Deal Seeking Mom (my new favorite website to visit!) : LA45W7. Guess what Dan and I are doing tonight after I get out of work?!

For a Season

I am officailly working now. My first day today...8am to 5pm. I got a few opinions, concerns, and imput about me going back to work. I too was wrestling with it myself, trying to weigh my options and see what God would really have me to do. What it boils down to is that this is for a season and I am going to do what I have to for the sake of my family. It's funny how God already had the details worked out and pretty much took care of my concerns right away. I was most concerned about the hours. I am going to be working 4pm to 1am. I was thinking about all I would miss. I love our bedtime routine. I just kept thinking about how I would no longer be able to tuck the kids in nice and tight. I would no longer be able to ask the kids what they wanted Mommy to sing to them about and make up a lullaby about a topic of their choice (fun, fun, fun especially when Landon was old enough to be able to give his input. I end up with topics like capguns, Kasen, and snowboarding. Try singing about that kind of stuff in a nice quiet, soothing voice...pretty darn hilarious!). Well, I found out that I will get an hour for lunch. With work being less than 5 minutes down the road, I will be able to go home. And wouldn't you know, I have to take my lunch from about 8pm to 9pm. Perfect! Thank you to Sharon. She reminded me that it's about the way you spend your time when you are together. Today when I got home, it was all about them. I was tired but I put the rest of the energy I had into spending quality time with them. It was refreshing. Anyway, it's not a career but it's going to help us squeak by until God provides a job for Dan. On to watch SURVIVOR...season premiere!!!

Start

This morning was the first day of Cubbies! This is Kaitlyn's second year and she was so excited to be going back to her "Cubbie School". This is Landon's first year and he was not so excited. He's been pretty attached to Daddy and told me on the way there that he would really miss his Daddy while he was at Cubbie School. Well, he made it just fine but he did comment on how he had "a too long day." Kaitlyn is more than ready to start memorizing again.

Tomorrow, I start my job. I have orientation from 8am to 5pm. I am assuming I will be starting the actual job next week... at least I am hoping to have the weekend with my family before I start.

The last couple days, we have been working to get the house de-cluttered. I have never wanted to throw away this much this bad. Our trash can is over flowing and it's been a great feeling. Dan has been tackling the garage the past two days and it's coming along nicely. Hopefully by tonight, we will be able to park our two cars in there with no problem.

I just love Suzie Orman. I am going to head to the library some time and check out her book to read. She was on Oprah and I always love to watch when she is on. She has some great advice. One of the things that she has said is that when people have debt, they have clutter. Dan and I are ready to turn over a new leaf. This is the first time in our whole marriage where I feel like we are on the same page about our finances. So, we are ready to de-clutter and clean up our debt. Maybe in a year we can say we are debt free.

This morning, I actually set my alarm to get up and go running. We haven't heard an alarm in over three weeks. I hate the sound but it felt good to be up early and out of bed. I have a 10K coming up the end of October. I haven't been consistently running and I have been missing it the past few days. I don't hate running anymore. So, with a little over a month until the race, it's time to get back on track.

Just some happenings around here. Can't believe it's Wednesday already!

Three Weeks

The LORD upholds all those who fall

and lifts up all who are bowed down. ~Psalms 145:14

Where's the potion?

I remember being so impatient toward the end of my pregnancies. I was so sure that because I was dilated to two that I wouldn't make it to my next appointment...and then I would. I hated not having an exact date (due date meant nothing to me). If I only knew when it would all be over, I could sit tight until then...or so I thought. Luckily, I had a magic potion that I took to get it all over with.



Well, that's the only way I know how to describe how I feel. If I only had a date. If I only knew how much longer I had to "make it" like this. If I only knew when this would all be over. If I only had a magic potion to take to get life back to normal around here...or at least feel like I could function in life.



I have had a horrible past few days. I don't know if I need someone to smack me across the face and tell me to snap out of it (please don't verbally smack me because that would hurt more than a physical smack) or if what I am feeling is totally normal. I am not good with change, never have been. This is probably the biggest change that I have ever had to adjust to and right now I think I am failing.

I feel like a spoiled brat...no one has to tell me that. I have already beat myself up about that over and over. God has shown himself to us so many times over the past three weeks. Yet, I am asking Him for more. I am crying out to Him telling Him that I can't take this any more. I need more from Him. I need Him to fix everything.

It is making me sick to my stomach to think about going back to work. I think it's the hours (4pm to 1am) or maybe it's where I am going to be or what I am going to be making. God has blessed me with a job and am hardly thankful. It was fun to sit and daydream while watching my kids play about going out and getting a job to get out of the house. Now that I am forced and have no other choice, I am dreading it. Again, totally spoiled.

This is incredibly lonely or maybe I am making it that way. I am a "Debby Downer". I am stuck in a pit and I am trying to figure out if I have been pushed into it, jumped into it, or thrown into it, or if it makes any difference at all. I am thankful but also angry, sad, confused and wondering how I can feel all of those at the same time. I know all the words to say, I know what I should be doing, I know how to act...it's just my heart that won't cooperate. I am having a hard time staying positive and having a hard time believing what I know I should believe. Guess it's harder when you are in it. I can't pretend anymore and I guess that's the hardest thing for me. I have always thought that I gotta be tough, gotta be strong and not let anyone know how much I am hurting. Afterall, that would mean that I am admitting weakness...or even worse, that I am more messed up than people should know about.

Sorry, I am rambling, I know. I needed to vent. Maybe this isn't the best place. But, this is my blog and this is my update.

P.S. Still no unemployment....even more grrrr.

Almost Three Weeks

Well, it's been almost three weeks since the lay off. Three weeks ago, if you would have told me that our bills would be paid until the end of the month, our cupboards would be full, and I would actually be happy, I wouldn't have believed it for a minute. But, our bills are paid until the end of the month, we have all the food we need, and I am actually feeling pretty good.

So, updates...

I went for an interview today and was hired on the spot. It's close to home and I will be working 32 hours a week. I am not thrilled about it but, it's a job. Gotta take one for the team. I will be hopefully taking classes in January to become a CNA. I am meeting with someone the first week of October about that.

We haven't seen one dime of unemployment yet...grrrr.

My best friend, Hollie, took me grocery shopping at the beginning of the week. That meant so much. Have I told you how much you ROCK?!

Her sister, Brittany, sent a gift card to Walmart. I opened up the card and tears welled up in my eyes (a theme lately). Must be a family thing...you ROCK too!

A friend from church, Karen, stopped by today with a bag full of beef. There was about 10 pounds of ground beef, 4 packs of hamburger patties (6 in each pack), two roasts, and a few steaks. I am looking for recipes for all that ground beef! That was awesome to know that we will be having protein in our diets. :-)

Dan tests for a position this Saturday so you can be in prayer for that. We are very excited about it and hoping it works out.

The garage sale is Saturday! The weather is supposed to be great. I am praying for bus loads and another grand total like last time.

So, we have had a lot of family time this week. It's been really nice to have Dan home. The kids have loved playing games with him, having him read books to them, playing outside with him, and doing the bedtime routine with him. I am beginning to wonder how I ever did this myself. :) I have been spoiled this past week and trying to cherish every moment. We love having him home!

It's been awesome to see our every need provided since September 2nd. God is good!

Back on again...

I hate running.

Three weeks ago, it was what I did for fun, in my spare time, whenever I could. I rarely missed a day. I would wake up early on weekends to get out there before the family woke up. On some days, I would even go out twice. Whatever it was, I would rather run.

Well, it's funny how things change. Running was something I wanted to do, not something I had to do. Now, I have to run. It's a great stress reliever once I actually get out there. I don't want to lose what I worked so hard for. There is no way I am starting all over.

This weather doesn't help. Don't get me wrong, I love that it's cooler out. But, it also makes me want to curl up under a blanket and eat baked goods all day. Well, the baked goods are gone, so I really have no excuse not to get out from under that blanket. Or, I could just lay around and pray for more baked goods. ;-) (I am only kidding...please don't bring me any baked goods...I have no self control right now...it would be one of those times that I thank God for those unanswered prayers.)

Today was the day I chose to get my butt back in gear. No more moping around. No more excuses. No more stuffing my face with those comforting carbs. I went out once with two of the kids and the dog and then again by myself this afternoon. And what do you know....I actually enjoyed myself. I think I will do it again tomorrow.

Maybe I don't hate running after all.

No Training Wheels!

My little man is a quick learner! At only three, he learned to ride a two wheeler with no training wheels. We are very proud of him! Now, if he could only sit still long enough to write his whole name. :-)

For He is Good

Once again, my timing is not HIS timing; for the Lord's timing is perfect. I am praising God for how he provides.

O give thanks unto the Lord; for he is good: for his mercy endures forever! ~Psalms 136:1

Psalms 138

1 I will praise you, LORD, with all my heart;

before the "gods" I will sing your praise.

2 I will bow down toward your holy temple

and will praise your name

for your unfailing love and your faithfulness,

for you have so exalted your solemn decree

that it surpasses your fame.

3 When I called, you answered me;

you greatly emboldened me.

4 May all the kings of the earth praise you, LORD,

when they hear what you have decreed.

5 May they sing of the ways of the LORD,

for the glory of the LORD is great.

6 Though the LORD is exalted, he looks kindly on the lowly,

but he takes notice of the proud from afar.

7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble,

you preserve my life.

You stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes;

with your right hand you save me.

8 The LORD will vindicate me;

your love, LORD, endures forever—

do not abandon the works of your hands.

Deep Breath

I guess I will have to be brutally honest today...

I am not going to pretend that I am in the best of moods. I am not going to pretend that I didn't spend all day yesterday crying and it has been so hard for me to get out of bed, keep up with things around the house, and care for my kids. Dan is jobless but that doesn't mean that the bills stop coming, the laundry stops piling up, the cars stop needing gas. I thought I was doing okay with this all. Yesterday it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I am actually feeling like I am mourning a loss. As selfish and materialistic as it may sound, I keep thinking back to two weeks ago when we had a paycheck coming in, we were able to go out to eat, and if I wanted to drive to where ever, I could. While I am grateful for everything beyond words, I miss all of what I used to have or maybe I just miss the laughter and smiles because they have been few and far between.

But, as promised, I will count my blessings...

~ We are all healthy.

~ The most amazing thing...My friend, Erin, called me at the beginning of the week asking about bills. I was reluctant to disclose the amounts to her. It's just so hard for me to accept money from people. She said she was going to work on it and see what she could do. Since then, almost everyday we have received some amount and most of that has been from complete strangers. It's just amazing!

~ All we have had to spend on food this week has been $3.00 thanks to a gift card from Hollie and the groceries that were brought to us last week.

~My mother-in-law brought over everything to make chocolate chip cookies and toilet paper (okay, I just read this and I made it sound like I make my own toilet paper, not so. So also threw in a pack of toilet paper...ha!).

~ Landon has been having growing pains. The Motrin was gone. The next morning, Hollie called and asked if she could pick us up anything from Walmart. She brought over 2 bottles of Motrin.

~ My sister-in-law, Alicia, brought over food from her Dad's b-day party! It has been delicious.

~ My sister-in-law, Saira, treated us to the nearby orchard one day. It was nice to get out with the kids and forget about all that is going on.

~ Becki brought over some homemade dishwasher detergent and some diapers and wipes.

~My parents sent a check to help out with Cubbies for the kids.

~ A friend of Dan's stopped over one morning and handed me a $100 bill. John has a family of his own and like everyone else that has helped us out, could have used the money himself. It was "extra" and so he chose to drive out here and bless us with it.

~ My grandparents both sent us money. It brightened my day!

Okay, I feel a little better. :-) I need to constantly remind myself to take this one day at a time. It's so easy for me to look at the calender and see the end of the month fast approaching and start to worry about the mortgage and everything else that is due then. Yesterday, I kept telling myself and God that I can't take anymore. It's only been a week and a half but I am so done with this. I feel helpless and that's exactly where God wants me. Because if I think that I can't go another day and that I can't do this by myself, there is no where else to turn but to HIM.

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. ~ 1 Peter 5:7

How you can be praying for us:

~ Dan's job search. We are spending money on gas to get him where he needs to go but are getting discouraged because he hasn't heard anything. Please pray that both of us would hear something within the next week from the apps we have both put out.

~ We did receive info about our unemployment. Dan is suppose to call the beginning of next week and our card will then be charged. It's put on a debit card and that is a bit concerning. There is a fee for everything. With it being about 40% of what Dan was making, those fees are going to make a huge difference. I have been worrying about it because instead of our mortgage being about 20% of our income, it will now be about %50.

~ Landon. He has been acting up and been very clingy to Dan. He wakes up super early to make sure Dan is still home and doesn't want to leave Dan's side. Dan left to turn in some apps today and I couldn't settle him down. He threw a huge fit for about a half hour. We need wisdom in how to deal with him.

~ That we wouldn't have to worry about what we are going to eat. That God would continue to provide as he has been doing in that area.

~For the upcoming garage sale on the 20th. That the turn out would be great and the weather would be nice.

~ For our marriage. Pray that we would continue to look to God for our needs and that we would be drawn closer together.

Thanks everyone!

Remembering

Photo by Mike Schade with a little help from Brent Brooks

I will never forget where I was that day, what I was doing, how I felt staring at the TV while everything and everyone around me seemed to stand still in shock and horror. I knew things had forever changed in the country that I love. May we never forget. Take time to remember today.

Take Note

I am about to burst with what God has been doing this week but I have chosen to wait until Friday to share! I am humbled.

I have been thinking a lot this past week about what I plan to do in the future to help those out who are in our same situation. I have been thinking about the wonderful ways people have and continue to help us out. Here are a few lessons I have learned:

~ The first couple days are the hardest, loneliest, darkest. It's in the first two days that the word was just getting out about our situation, we were scrambling, we were freaking out, and needed people around us desperately. Don't wait to see what happens. Act.

~ There are only a few people that I feel comfortable just coming out and asking for things. Bottom line, don't wait for people to ask. So many times in the past, I have said, "If you need anything, just ask." I don't know about you, but I hate asking for things. It has been so nice to have people just show up with things. Today, my neighbor called while she was at Walmart and asked what we needed. She was already at the store, how could I resist? :-) There have also been a few others that have sent an email telling me that they would be over with certain things...how could I refuse?

~ If they are a friend, don't let them withdrawal. When I am going through difficult times, I tend to put a wall up, withdrawal, and keep my distance from people. It's been really nice to have people constantly checking up/in on me.

~ You don't truly understand until you have been there. It's been wonderful to hear other people's stories of how God carried them through a lay off. It's been helpful to hear what to do and what not to do. It's been nice to have people help us that know exactly what you are going though.

~ Prayer and Bible verses have been such a comfort! We feel so lifted up! There has been an amazing peace over the past four days that can only be explained by the power of God.

I probably could add a few more but I will leave it at that. Thank you everyone for your continued prayer. We are so thankful for everything that God is doing through so many for our family!