Thursday, June 5, 2008

What's really "mine"...

It's nothing new...I have actually known this about myself for a very long time: I have a strong emotional attachment to things.

I am a saver. I might even be on the verge of being a hoarder. I am definitely a pack rat...a neat pack rat if there is such a thing. I have gotten worse after having my three beautiful miracles. Articles of clothing, little toys, books, pretty much name is and I have either not been able to let it go or I have but it's not been without much thought and even some regret.

I am a Mom who loves to save stuff, not just for my children's sake when they are older, but also for myself as a memory. I don't want to lose certain pieces of my life or theirs. I don't want to let go of things that remind me of a certain time or a certain place. For instance, I have a memory box from the year Dan and I dated where I saved everything from ticket stubs to score cards to napkins. I also have a honeymoon box where I saved almost everything from everywhere from the week. I am wondering in doing a box each year for my kids if this is something they will appreciate...or will all of my boys stuff end up in the trash someday?

We are having a garage sale the second weekend of June. I decided to clean out my littlest one's room this morning during the storm. By the time I was done, I had neatly rearranged everything and only a few things were set aside for the sale. I took the mobile off of his crib to put in the "for sale" pile and thought, "I can't sell that! Poppy picked it out for Kaitlyn just after she was born. I should save it for her kids." What kind of rational thought it that? Who hangs a twenty something year old mobile over their children's heads? That happened about a dozen times. No wonder my storage room is slowly filling up with my kids stuff.

I am pretty sure there is a lesson that my Savior is trying to teach me. In my quiet time it talked about things we think are ours. From an early age, children learn the word "mine" and use it for everything unless told otherwise. It's not a word that has to be taught. Over time, the child learns what things are actually theirs...their blanket, their doll, their passy. It went on to talk about this idea as an adult. Things that we may call our own, thought through carefully, are actually not at all. How about that house? I am guessing unless you are in the minority of people, it's the banks. And your cars? How many things in your life could be burned up, taken away, blown away? Just sit and think for a minute.

This was eye opening for me. Sure, I have heard all of the can't take all that stuff with you when you die...things like that. But, in the end what is really yours? Jesus talks many times in the book of John about His Father. It's the one thing that is ours. He is mine. My husband, even though he is mine, is not really mine. My kids, even though they are on loan to me from my Heavenly Father, are not mine. My Savior is mine and it's time for me to start living with that mentality and stop holding so tightly to the material things in this life that will not last.

I am not going to go and start throwing away my kids baby books and outfits that I brought them home in. I am not going to chuck our wedding box into the nearest dumpster. I do however need to reevaluate what I am holding on to and why. That is a hard one.

1 things to add:

Erin said...

I often think about this. I don't consider myself a "pack-rat" and actually on the contrary, I think I probably throw just about everything away.

But for this very reason I want to put "be content with such things as you have for he himself has said I will never leave you nor forsake you" on my wall. To remind myself that I don't "need" to run out and buy new things. That is more my issue!